Newly Weds Unfiltered With Zack and Jordan

We hang out with our friends Zack and Jordan to talk about how a real friendship turned into dating, discernment, and a marriage that still feels like best friends choosing each other. We also get honest about the unglamorous stuff like sleep, work stress, money habits, and why small daily choices matter more than big moments. 
• how we all know each other through ministry and community 
• peaks and pits from the past few weeks including travel, work and newborn level sleep loss 
• why being friends first makes honesty easier and lowers the pressure to perform 
• the fear of ruining a friendship and how to take a leap anyway 
• prayer, discernment and trusting God’s timing without forcing an outcome 
• growing in faith as a couple through daily prayer and accountability 
• serving God through small hidden acts rather than only big ministry moments 
• what kind of marriage to build over the next five years including intentional daily love 
• red flag or green flag on bedtime fights, hobbies, cooking, budgeting, dishes and “I’m fine” 

An exclusive from Dery Media Podcasts. Explore diverse perspectives and enrich your knowledge at derymedia.com. Telling stories that matter, sparking meaningful discussions.

Transcript

Chaos, Introductions, And New Guests

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hello. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

This is the Vine.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

I'm Katie.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

And I'm Joe. See, this is the microphone passing back and forth.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

We're fighting about it. Here, you can just Okay, let's start over. I'm Katie.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

And I'm Joe. And I'm Zach.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

And I'm Jordan.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

We have guests on our podcast, Katie.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Finally. I'm so tired of hearing us talk to each other.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Wow, it's so kind of you to say that.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

What nobody has um seen is the what, like an hour and a half of like quarreling, trying to get the podcast set up.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

For both couples, it's been amazing, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

But we made it here and we wanted to bring some friends on the podcast because you know, like our friends are wise and have life experience. I don't know. This is so true. No, they are. They are.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

We're gonna drop wisdom the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

But yeah, Joe, do you want to like explain how we know Zach and Jordan?

SPEAKER_01 1:10

So I met Zach. Well, actually, I think I met Jordan first because Jordan and her little brother went to middle school CLI. Her little brother was in one of my first small groups as a like I was the leader. He was in my small group. How tall is Declan now?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Oh my gosh, six four, six five. Yeah for us.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

So Declan in my small group was probably like five foot, probably even shorter than that. Like just this cute little nerdy kid, and he was like hanging out in my small group, and I'm like, Declan, you're so sweet. And then I saw him like two years later, and he was like six one already, and I'm like talks like this, and I have a deep voice now. And he literally he had like hi, I'm Declan.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

And dude, he had like this even with the little voice guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yes, I know. And and then uh I remember Jordan also because I remember that was Declan's older sister, and then Zach I met on a young men's retreat, and I remember I knew your friend at the time, Joey, first, and he said, This is this is my bro, this is Zach. And that was it. And then now I've known them for like ever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

So Jordan is like BFFs with my sister Allie. So now we're like a lot closer. But for a while it was just like we did ministry together, and like I don't think I ever served as an adult for either of you, but we worked as adults together. Yes. So we just we've just been, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Was I I was an adult for you, right? No, you were not for you, but for you. You took a break. No, you took a break.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

No, I was an adult for you, your first his first year was his senior year, and it was my senior year. So you weren't.

unknown 2:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Oh no. Brotler. Brawler. Dude, big fraudler.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

It's okay, that's what's the details. But now we're friends. That's what we're all adults together in the real world.

SPEAKER_04 3:02

I know.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

It feels very weird. But, anyways, we brought on some friends just to kind of talk about. I don't know, I feel like we're in like different stages of life. Like we're like leaving the stage that you guys are entering. And I feel like, oh, marriage. Jordan and Zach just got married.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

Let's go, show them off.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

When? Like a couple months ago. Or last month. Two months ago.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Two months ago. Two months. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Grandma Pat's 90th birthday. Yeah. Thanks. Happy birthday, Grandma Pat. We didn't have to be able to do that. The party was so fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Yeah. We hope that it was the best birthday you've ever had. It probably was. It was really hard, okay?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

We had a we had lots of we had lots of talks with my mom about like how can we drop MJ off? Can we go to the wedding? And then it was like, you know what? I think it's just not going to happen.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

We just don't like you enough, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

That's all right.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

You guys, you said that's forced to be here on this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

They said if you don't come do the podcast, we'll stop being friends with you. So we decided to show up to save our friendship.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

So seriously, they're like world troopers for being here because this is a big trial and error for us. But, anyways, go on.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Katie told me if we don't do this, I'm never gonna be able to see her sister ever again. This is true.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

This is true. We're gonna keep her prisoner in our house or not. I'll have to keep in contact with her. I couldn't let that happen. Oh, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

I'll put like a restraining order on the phone. Oh god, imagine.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I think that Jordan would be more than if you did that to me. Like if you said, Oh, like Jordan, you can't see Allie, she would break down, oh, you can't see Zach. She'd be like, she'd like take a little bit to process it, but Allie would be like straight tears.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Yeah, oh yeah. Devastation reaction. Yeah, 100%.

Peaks And Pits From Real Life

SPEAKER_01 4:38

So uh we told you guys this before. So we start every podcast with what we call our peaks and pits. So it's just what is the best part of your like last couple weeks and the worst part of your last couple weeks. So you can start, or I can ask Katie to go first if you need to think about it. I always ask Katie to go first.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

I can go. I'll start.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Ooh, Jordan, go.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Um, my peak. Well, I travel a lot for work and I was gone um almost for about a month straight. I only had like a week off. Um so my peak is that I don't have to travel for another month, and I just get to be home, and we finally started decorating the apartment, which is really fun, and I just get to be here. So that's my peak. And my pit is I don't really think it's a pit. I've had a really good week, but I think since I've been traveling so much, I haven't been in the office as often. Now I'm like, oh, nine to five again. Back to the nine to five, right? So but it's good. I really like my job. So it's not really the pit pit, but that's mine.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Well, Zach's got it now. That's a good peak in pit. Yeah, no, that's yeah, that's solid. That's your low.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Um I would say my peak is that my new job is going good. I took a job like right after I got married, so just about two months ago, but things have really absolutely you worked at the same company that I used to work for as well. Yeah, Joe, Joe convinced me and trapped me.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

I said power tools are amazing. You have to, you have to work in power tools. You have to.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

It's my favorite hobby now, just to bring up that I know every power tool out there. And the plethora of batteries that I'll never use again. Yeah, so many. Um, but yeah, my new job, uh, God definitely blessed us there. Like perfect timing. We were on a shot clock, and God made it all tie together, getting the job. Um, so now that's good. Um, I'll say my low is I really like my sleep, and my sleep has just been not good. Yeah, all over the place. Tell me about it. Yeah, I I'm I'm out here complaining. I have all I have to worry about is Jordan punched me in the face while we're asleep or something, or snoring. Do you snore? No, I'm the one that snores, and I've punched her in the face while sleeping. So I just like blaming her for it.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Does it bother you?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Um it it kind of does, or did it at first, but then we got a king bed and I don't even hear him. Really? That's amazing. I put up pillows like kind of in between us and it buffers like right near my head. I don't hear the snoring, I do feel the punches though.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

I do feel the punches. Isn't a king bed amazing? A king bed is an absolute must be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

No, it was way more than once. Zach will be asleep and go and just flail his arm out and hit me in the face. We love that. We love it.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

I still apologize. I still apologize even in my sleep. You can ask her.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

I think you have to have like a king bed, is an extra what, like maybe $700. I know it depends on the type, but it's you it's worth it in a marriage. Having a king bed is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Dave Ramsey would hate me for saying this. It's okay to put on the credit card. It is that big of a necessity. Yes, it's that big of a necessity.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Um, all right, Katie. You're peeking. Wait, wait, wait. What was your pit?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

The sleep, the bad sleep. And that's how we got to that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yeah. Well, relatable. I'll start with that. MJ has been like teething and like just so inconsolable. And I thought she was teething before. Like, we were like, oh, this could be teething. Like, no, this is teething. Like, she's like mad all the time. We're like giving her Tylenol, giving her Advil, and nothing, like nothing's working. And like it shows at nighttime too, because like I think during the day she gets distracted, and so it's like hard to like for her to focus on the fact that her teeth hurt, but then at nighttime she's like, Nope, I'm so angry right now. So yeah, sleep has been hard for us, but I feel again, I feel like you know, I can do this. Like, I've managed off of less sleep and somehow still take care of patients during the day. So, although it's a pit, I feel like I've grown a lot from the nine months of her not sleeping through the night. My peak, um, honestly, having Allie stay with us the past couple weeks was nice. I felt like I had like a little sister again. I wouldn't say that to her face, but this is a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

She doesn't listen either, so she'll never hear it. She does not listen.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

She might listen to this one because you're on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Like, hello, Allie. This is my shout out to her now because she will listen to this episode.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

Well, just for you guys, I love you so much.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Wish you were here.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Did you hear her the podcast, like her episode? She talked about you pretty much the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

I remember it vividly.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I have watched it, I went, We're best friends, really. Sobbing.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

This is literally why I have to compete against Allie for my wife's love.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

I don't know what that's like for you.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

What's so funny is you and Allie were on the team together and weren't not that you weren't friends, but like you guys weren't really that close.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

No, we were we were not close at all. And I have told Allie this. She was the only like cool girl on E-Team that I thought was approachable enough to like be friends with. Like I was like, okay, some of these girls look a little intimidating. Like they'd kind of just like be nice to me but not be my friends. Allie looks like an attainable friend.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

You're attainable, cool.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

But I'll just start using it. Well, there are like videos of the three of us, like me, you, and Allie. And Zach is like and I are in the background of things or in photos, and then we watched them back, I don't know, last year or something. We were like, Yeah, if you would have told the three of us that the two of us would be getting married, and Allie and I would be best friends, and Allie would be the maid of honor in our wedding, we all would have laughed in your face.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Well, well, hang on, let me do my peek and pin. And then because then I want to get into what you just said, because we knew you guys before you were dating, and that's gonna get into my first question. But oh, Katie's leaving. Bye, Katie.

unknown 10:32

You always point out when I walk.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Yeah. She has to get her water so commercial, it's our commercial. So she can take giant sips of water.

unknown 10:40

And it's empty.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Oh no. This this is Katie's true peak uh true pit. You can go fill your water up. I can stall. Um getting up again. I would say my pit was work has been a little crazy this past week. I was talking to Zach about it, just some some absolute nonsense happening at work, but we got through it, we're okay. Um Peak. I would say overall I had a pretty good day. So I watch MJ on Mondays and Fridays pretty much most of the day. And I had a good day with her today, and I had missed her because I left Tuesday morning, didn't get home until late last night. Excuse me. And yeah, this does happen a lot. Um, and I just got to watch her, and she was really fussy in the morning, but like having her like kind of like reset herself and like watching her you guys will eventually learn, like when you have kids, like watching them problem solve for themselves, and like I mean she's eight months, so she's not really problem solving for herself, but certain quantum mechanics like in her head. Um, but like watching her try and like Katie's pulling up MJ on the camera. I was trying to help her, she wouldn't let me. Um but like watching her like be upset and then try and calm herself down, like try and distract herself is like really interesting and it's like a hard thing because as a parent you want to like constantly like help them and be like, I can I can do this for you. But one of the things we realize we have to learn to do is like let her figure some things out on her own, and so like watching that today was amazing. Um, so yeah, that was my peek and pit.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Um I love that she was so good for you, she was like a menace the whole week with me.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

That's just because your mom.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

She knows, she like plans those days. She's like, I'm gonna be good tomorrow when dad's watching me, but when mom's here, it's over. Boom.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Did she not just like start sobbing her eyes out when I walked through the beater? I was like, wow, this is so nice to be greeted.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

I mean, it's better than the day I came over, and I haven't I really don't see her that often. And every time she made eye contact with me, she just started the sad cry. Yes, no tears. She was good today, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yeah, she lets you both of you hold her. She was fine. We try to get her good with people, but you know. Um, okay, so I want to go back to something you guys said, which was you were looking at a picture of the two of you plus Allie, and like it's interesting to see the relationships that have formed from

Friends Before Dating And Why

SPEAKER_01 13:16

there. So when you know, we mentioned that we the four of us served together on e-team. We've talked a bunch about it on the podcast. When we served on e-team, the two of you were not dating. However, there were lots and lots and lots of communication and jokes and stories and skits and poking fun of the two of you guys dating, as I'm sure it has been talked about endlessly. But what I think is so awesome is you guys, it's the opposite kind of of how Katie and I dated. We talk about this. Katie and I never would have been friends, but we are married now. Now we're best friends, but we never would have been friends first, right? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Yeah. I was like so intimidated by Joe, so I was like, it was one way or the other. Like, either we're gonna get we're gonna date or we're gonna be friends. But if we went to like the same high school, I would be like, our crowds were like so different.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

So yeah, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

But our our first question for you is what do you think about being really good friends before dating helped you realize you wanted to date each other? I don't even know if that's one of the questions you had.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

I was like, I sent you guys all these questions and jokes going off the rip like this one that you did not send you or something. No, this isn't I think this is an easy question.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

I imagine it's an easy one. Um Well, I think that our entire relationship is based off the fact that we're still just best friends. Like nothing really changes. And er I always say, I always think it's funny, and I know y'all just said that you're best friends because you're married, but I used to get so annoyed when people would be like, like six months dating my best friend, and then they met on a dating app. Like, well, so that wasn't your best friend. You're only best friends because you started dating. Yeah, of course. We were best friends, and when I say like, oh, I'm getting married to my best friend, like I truly am getting married, or was or am was we did all get married. Um But so I think that being friends first, like we became friends with no intentions of dating. It was just we simply just wanted to be friends, and then we became best friends. And I think that if our relationship had started off with, oh well, like we like each other, but let's just be friends, we would not have the same relationship that we do now.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

I definitely agree. Uh we were friends for probably like almost four years, three years before we started dating.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Close friends?

SPEAKER_00 15:49

For two years.

unknown 15:50

Yeah, for two years.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Right, you know, the time blends together. Like I hear that it's six years since COVID, and I forgot to.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

We've known each other since we met each other and we were 16. Yeah. But we weren't friends until I would say we were yeah, like 19 or 20, probably. We were just like passing each other friendly.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

And how old are you now for reference?

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Um, well, I'm about to be 24.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Happy early birthday.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Jordan's birthday is in two days.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Everyone say happy birthday.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

And then I'm 24.

SPEAKER_04 16:21

Yeah. Okay. So keep going.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Oh, but yeah, no, um, I think that it's a good base for relationship. Uh honesty is a lot easier to come by. I think a lot of times, like, we put on like a face, like when you're at work, like, all right, I'm Zach at work right now. And like, or now I'm like, all right, I'm bringing this girl on a date, like, I need to be Zach, like best version of myself. And it's like, well, she's already seen all the worst parts, like being my friend, so it's like I just be myself. Um, so I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

Do you feel like there was like hesitation to move from like being best friends to

Fear, Hesitation, And Taking The Leap

SPEAKER_03 16:52

like dating? And what what was that hesitation and why?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Hang on, hang on. You couldn't see Jordan had the world's largest eye roll ever at that. You're gonna get stuck. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

So me and you'll learn uh over time during this podcast that me and Jordan had very different journeys to knowing that we were gonna be dating. Jordan knew probably from the moment she saw me. I mean, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Um but I wouldn't say all that from the moment she laid eyes on me.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I have that effect on people. But I think the biggest like I think what did scare me, because I remember talking it over with some of my good friends, remember my vividly calling my friend Josh, sitting in a parking lot, waiting to go hang out with my other buddy. I was like, man, like I really think I'm starting to like Jordan. And he told me, Well, do you like her because you're bored? Or do you like actually like her? And I was like, Well, that's a pretty good point. Like, I was single for a pretty like I was pretty single for like a prolonged period of time, and he was like, That's actually a really good like question. Um, and so I decided to like I attempted to do like six weeks, and then I was like going on this vacation.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Wait, six weeks of what?

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Prayer. I was gonna like prayer on it, like I was going to adoration, I was um writing it down like all like the pros and the cons and uh trying to weigh it out to make sure I wasn't just like making it up in my head. And uh so yeah, I was very scared.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

I definitely was like, your feelings were like romantic. Yeah, they're romantic.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Yeah, I think that they had to make sure something because I don't want to I just don't want it to to be ruined, a or friendship, but B, I felt like if it didn't work out with her, I don't know who it would have worked out with.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

So um no, it's the truth though. I I I tell you all the time, it was it was either this, it was this or seminary.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

So it was like that's how that's how you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Churches everywhere are so thankful. Bishop Jock is very upset right now. I would have been out of seminary probably pretty quick or kicked out. So it worked out for the better. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Well, I was in love with Zach our entire friendship. So that's a little different. But I Were you really? I don't think I actually knew that. Um we like became really close friends um in like the fall of 2022, and I think like by Christmas of 2022, I was like, we're in love.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Like, were you like like did you know that like in your okay? Did you like talk to people about it?

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Yeah, everybody really maybe not everybody, but I'm like told.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Hang on, there's a reason we did skits about the two of you getting married on e Team.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Well, so Zach, let's make a long story as short as I can make it. When we became friends, I know Zach had a crush on me and he won't admit it, but I know he did because he said at E-Team for these 30 high schoolers, let's tell them we're dating, let's just keep the bit going. And I was like, Well, why? No, no, it'll be funny. Let's just tell them we're dating. And it was like an exchance for him, yes, and it was a chance for him to like hold my hand and like keep giving me hugs, be like, Jordan, you look so pretty, and then be like, oh, they're so cute. And it was just fake.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

This is true. My biggest giveaway is when the two of you fell asleep, like napping on each other.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

I've never seen this was at like one of the I think it was a December meeting, and it was on back in the back, Jerry's table. You were like on the piano, somebody was sitting on the piano, and then somebody was like leaning on the other chair, and then like our I mean, all of we were you guys were both asleep, and all the other adults were just parading around you. Like, do you guys see this? Look at them. It was amazing. It was amazing. It's not real.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Nothing is real these days.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

But yeah, I was in love with Zach the whole time, but I again like really did value our friendship so much that I was like, I can't say anything. I think that there were times I wasn't, but I was always like, I think if we don't talk about it, I always will wonder like what would have happened if we would have talked about it. Yeah, so it's a Netflix movie. Yeah. That I mean it could be the new. Well, one of our very good friends, Catherine Shogi. Yeah, I talked to them, that both Justin and Catherine about it, and Catherine said to me something that really changed everything for me. And she said, Jordan, everybody wants to be the main character of their movie. And if you were watching this movie, how would you want it to end? And I said, That's really good. She said you'd be screaming at the TV, being like, What are you doing? Just tell him you like him. That's amazing. So that changed my mind. That's so true.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Now you're both the main character in your own little movie. Did it work out? Oh, did it work out? I think it worked out great. Thank you, Katie. So your hesitation was more like, Do I want to lose like this really good friendship? And then yours was more like, where like what are these feelings that I'm feeling?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Yeah, I think that I wanted to double down just because it felt like God slapped a two by four. My forehead. Like it was very random. Like didn't expect it.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

Zach told all his friends while we were just friends, Jordan loves me better than anybody I've ever met. But yet he didn't know how he was feeling. Classic.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

He just took some took some growing.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yes, thank you. I think it's a guy thing, and especially I mean, Katie and I have were in a relationship for so long that I never experienced it myself, but seeing like knowing so many of my guy friends, when they meet someone that they truly feel they can be married to, the their biggest fear is like committing to somebody who they're not that you wouldn't have committed back to him, but it's like this fear of like, okay, if I'm gonna really go all out for this, what's what is what's gonna happen to me? Like, you know, it's it's a little bit of the self-preservation of like, how do I know that this is the person that I'm gonna commit myself to? And I think the the scariest part about it, and I'm interested to hear your take on it, Zach, is you just have to do it. You just won't ever know until you you have like Jordan, you said that you did love him and you did have that, you were ready for that relationship, but there are plenty of guys who feel that way about girls who they aren't that way, but you will never know unless you're willing to to do the scary part. And it's I think life is gonna be a lot worse for you if you don't try the scary part.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

No, I 100% agree. Uh I vividly remember being like, what happens if on this trip? Because I was leading up to go to visit my buddy for spring break, and I was like, if this plane crashed, I would never be able to tell her like how I feel like such a boy. Every guy that's listening to this right now is like, yeah, that's like when you're sitting down, you're like, if there was a shooter right now, how can I stop like this random thoughts that are always going through your head? And um sometimes 100% he does, and every guy that is listening right now because I've had that thought in my head.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

I feel like I have these thoughts more than you do. What? Like just like tragic devastation. Like, what happens if you die?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

And I was like, uh, but my biggest thing is like I'd much rather live my life looking back on it, um, like wishing I wouldn't have done something, like, and then or being like, Oh, I wish I would have. Like, I think it's better to look back to fail like mistakes. Yeah, it's like yeah, God forbid me and Jordan didn't work out, then I would have known. Like there would have been a knowing, and like, yeah, that would have broken my heart, but like then you know, but like if I would have never done that, I would have met my wife and we would have had this beautiful relationship that's growing into something that's so great. So definitely go for it. Life's too short.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

I have a question. Oh, you don't take my mic. You mentioned that you took six weeks to discern like whether or not. It wasn't really six weeks. I think it maybe ended up being like three weeks. Why six weeks? Why did you decide on six weeks?

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Because I was like, man, that's like a month and a half, like that's long enough. Like, like that seems like a good idea. Definitely could have been a little bit more biblical, like, definitely could have dialed it in a little bit, but I was like, God will give me a good answer. Like, that's like God's time. Like, it'll get through the mail in time to get to meet.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Just let the record reflect it took a week and a half.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Week and a half, six weeks, three weeks, whatever. What matters is that we're married. Remember that. That's the goal here.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

I think like even the fact that you took time to like discern and not just like jump into the next thing that makes you feel good is like it God's gonna bless that no matter what, whether it's six weeks or one week

Prayer, Discernment, And God’s Timing

SPEAKER_03 25:23

or two days. And like something that we talk about a lot is that like these dating fasts, right? Which I think they can be appropriate sometimes. Like if you're like, you know, constantly dating people and you can't figure out who you are and you have to take so-and-so dating fasts. But the people that are like so stuck on their like, I can't date anyone, don't talk to me, I need to like purge all women or men, it's frustrating for us because it's like, what if God's like putting this person in your life and you're just totally closing the door? So, like, how would you, and both of you, if you took time to like pray about it, like how would you say that God like opened up these doors and like softened your heart to like this is ultimately now your vocation? Like, how did that become clear to you? And or maybe it came like clear really fast, like once you started dating. I feel like you guys kind of knew you were gonna get married right away once you finally decided.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Um, I think that well, I really hold a lot of um well put a lot of stock into what Jerry, who is in charge of all of these diasno, some people are like, who are what is this cult they're a part of? It's hard to explain. Yeah, Jerry has known all of us for, I mean, at least over a decade, and I feel like knows everybody here and more very well. So I take what he has to say with a lot of heart. And um, he told me when I one of the many times that he asked me what's going on with you and Zach, he said, So nosy, like you really need to take time to pray about it. Like, you know, we all see it, but you need to see it. And I was like, Well, I don't like him, he's just my friend. And Jerry said, Well, regardless of whether you date Zach or not, Zach treats you the way you deserve to be treated, and it's the type of person that you need to find. So if you can find somebody else like Zach, then great. But if not, this is So he like really was like, This is Well, he told me like this is how you deserve to be treated, and he is a good example of that. Yeah. So don't settle for anything less if you have someone who's just your best friend that treats you that way. Yeah. And he, you know, kind of guided me on what to pray specifically for and how to like open, not just like, please let us work. I mean, I used to pray that all the time. Like I said this at our wedding, but um my parents always taught me when you pray, you don't say, God, I want this. You say, if it's your will, let it be done. And Zach is the only thing in my life I've ever prayed for and been like, I know it's your will, but just let it work for this time.

SPEAKER_04 27:52

Please. Go away.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, I think that that's kind of where I've shifted instead of being like, just let Zach and I work. I was more um direct in my prayer of like, what am like, is this the right path, or am I just like so far in it that I can't get back out of it? And I'm maybe I'm not right. Maybe we're just meant to be friends and back and forth. But I think that's what kind of like made something click for me.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Well, and that willingness to surrender a little bit, I think is is what's so hard, but is what I think that's the last step God asks for when people are dating in a relationship. That's one of the last steps he asks for to kind of solidify that you're with the right person. Is that willing is you know, it's the same thing that he asked Abraham asked, you know, he asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac right before he said, This is what I need you to be willing to sacrifice for me. Um and I think that in a relationship it's kind of the same thing. Like Katie and I went through something very similar where you have to be willing to to say those dreadful words like, if this isn't your will, I will be strong and understand. You know? Um, but sorry, you go ahead on on your piece of No, you're totally right.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Um, really well said. Am I holding it right? I'm trying so hard, I'm so sorry. You're doing great, you're doing great, sweetheart. You're doing so. I think that God slowly worked in like in the cracks for me. I think that I was uh not ready to like date Jordan and like be like the man that she needed me to be. Um, and so I think he waited for an appropriate time. Like we talk about it all the time. Like if we would date it earlier, like who knows if we got married, maybe. But I think that we met at a really good time in our lives, like for that part of like to take off. Um, I remember very specifically it being my birthday, and shout out my buddy Jack. He uh like went to go hit on her, and I was like, it's complicated between us, it's gone. And like after like I said that, I was like, No, I don't know. Don't you dare. Yeah, literally, like I'm like looking back at it and I'm like, dude, you like total weirdo. Like, that's not like literally, that's like the weirdest thing in the world to do, to be like that girl that has like nothing is going on behind a friendship at the moment, like, and then for me to do that. But I mean, I think that God, when he did do that, he allowed me to recognize that okay, there is something here, and that's when I started like really seriously praying about it and like trying to make sure that the next steps were gonna be something that was like good for me and her, and making sure that like God stayed the center of it.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Yeah,

Growing In Faith As A Couple

SPEAKER_03 30:18

for sure. Um, you both are obviously very involved in like the church and like ministry, it was like something that you did together, uh individually. How would you feel like that has like you've grown together in your faith as a couple? And how has that, if it has changed since you've gotten married?

SPEAKER_00 30:35

You wanna go or me?

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Zach first, Zach first.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

I think that uh in a lot of ways we try to make sure that like we're leading each other. I think that God has like called me like at night, like we try to make sure that we pray together, like every night together, no matter what. Um that's been something that's been really fruitful for both of us. I think it's gave us um a good like path to like make sure that at least like if we're not gonna do anything else, like we prayed together today, like about the people that we care about for each other, for our own individual relationships, like during that prayer, we hit like the key points. Like, I've I'm very structured in my prayer.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Like I same.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Yeah, like I think it's good. Like it's a good routine to like the same person in a relationship. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

Well, that's what I was gonna say. Zach has really helped me a lot in my prayer because I'm not good at spontaneous prayer. I'm good at it in my head when I'm just like like brainstorming, praying, like just saying whatever I'm thinking into Jesus. But when Zach prays, he like says the right words, and I can't do it. I don't have like good spontaneous prayer. But um, I think that that's helped me a lot is like learn I I know how to pray, but like learn new ways to pray. And in ministry, I mean we've never I mean, at least uh there's only been like maybe a year that we haven't like done ministry together, it just hasn't been married. Like we've done it together as friends and together dating, and this year we're not doing the typical ministry that we always have done, so we're trying to think of new ways to um you know serve together.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

So well, I think that I mean that's been a big thing for Katie and I because we were in the same boat, like for s our entire lives we have like a big portion of it we have served on ministry together, and so finding and I don't know if we have an answer for that question yet, because I was gonna ask you guys that, then I realized it's not a fair question for me to ask of you guys if we don't have an answer for it ourselves. Like it's something I know for me personally, like I still strive for kind of that same feeling of like it's you know Sunday morning at DYC, and you get to look and and or let me a better example Saturday night at Adoration when you have helped, and granted we're such a small piece of it, you know. Jerry always used to say, I could call rock, you know, or God could call rocks, but he calls you instead. Like, but seeing that that feeling of knowing like uh you've ran the race, you know, good job, it's it's a hard thing to find in your marriage, kind of in your everyday life. And I don't know, you know, we we do our podcasts, we do we have other ways that we've tried to field it, but there's something tangible about that that service aspect that is it's hard to replicate. And I'm I'm not giving you advice, I'm just stating my feelings on something that I know is is something that we talk about frequently all the time, is right, like where do you and I find our way to serve God now, right?

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Like, yeah, I mean I feel like this is like a really convoluted I like I'm still doing a lot of like thinking on this subject as well because I don't know, five years into marriage now, like I feel like God has really like I just like formed us in such a different way. Like I understand now, like why we had to go through what we did to like before we got pregnant, why it took us so long. Like, like being able to like look back on five years of marriage is incredible to see like like our our ministry isn't just like e-team anymore, it is just like this constant giving of ourselves to each other into our family, into our family, and in turn to everybody else, but it's not something that like quite clicks when you like first get married, like that concept to me is still very hard to like understand. But I just feel like that's what like vocations are about. Like, whether you discern the religious life or you got married or whatever, that vocation is like you're gonna spend the rest of your life learning how to give of yourself rather than like take from your spouse or take from the world, like it's just this constant like outpouring of like love, like just like learning how to like love God. And it's like it's stripping almost.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

No, I completely agree. I think that like Joe using e-team as an example, like thinking of like this conference that holds thousand people, maybe a little bit less, but a lot of people that are there on like this macro scale, like I think in our vocation of marriage, especially, like it's micro, like it's the small acts that you're not thinking of. Like everyone thinks like uh their cross is this huge cross. And it's like God doesn't necessarily gonna have like He's not calling you maybe to go out in the streets and be a martyr right now, like He is telling you at the grocery store when you see the sweet old lady like go push her cart to her car, or like to serve Jordan like by cooking her breakfast, or like being there for her, like even if she's being mean, mostly me being mean and being hangry, and her being like, All right, I can deal with it for a little bit, we're about to go eat. So but it's small, and I agree with you that it's you're looking for that, and you definitely you can't stop. Like your heart, it it needs it.

SPEAKER_03 35:31

For sure. And like feel like you like as a married couple are gonna like teach each other how to do that more naturally every single day. So, like, it's probably not gonna come natural to you to like look at somebody at the grocery store and be like, I need to love you well. You probably like if you're like me, you're like gotta get in and out. Like, I'm on one. She hates grocery shopping.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Oh, dude, Katie hates the grocery store. I love it. So love it. So good, dude. Put me in a Costco Monday through Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

It's I'm you guys can go together. I go to spend them too. Yeah, that would be great. It'd probably be way more efficient than if I went. I just like sit there and stare at the aisles and like start hyperventilating. And then I call Joe and I'm like, where are the eggs? Where do I find the eggs?

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Like your cross would be like Costco.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Like, that's like I don't even oh no, I just get the samples at Costco.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

Then I get distracted because I'm eating. So they they I just went to Costco for the first time like a month ago, and I've really gone overwhelmed. So overwhelming. I felt like, have you ever seen Modern Family? Do you know the scene where um Cam takes Mitch to Costco for the first time? That's how I felt. Okay, they have vacuums here.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

But yeah, again, it does not come natural to me. And I just feel like like it's slowly starting to make sense, like what this vocation does. Like it is like constantly just teaching you how to do that more naturally, how to love it.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Well, and I love Zach, one of the things you said is it's not about the peaks, right? Like, you know, it's so easy or and even the valleys either, right? Like it's so it's easy to be there for your spouse when things are good. And in a way, like I do think it's also easy to be there for your spouse when things are really tough. Like when Katie's crying in front of me, I love her, so it's very easy for me to be like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that you're crying. Like, let me support you while you're so upset, or like when I'm in my funk, it's easy for Katie to be there for me. It's that in between time in the small things, that's where you show someone you love them. Right? Like a lot of people will be supportive when things are going good, and a lot of people will be supportive when things are going bad. But on the the Wednesday night when you're a little tired and don't feel like cooking, or don't feel like you know, going to get the baby, or don't, you know, whatever, pick your pick your cross, that's when you truly show someone that you love them, right? Like, and I think that's you guys do an amazing example of that, and I hope you know sometimes we do too. So absolutely.

The Marriage They Want To Build

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Um, so our our other question, one of our last questions for you guys would be what kind of marriage do you hope to build over the next couple of years? So, like one of the things like we've been asked before by people who've been recently married is like, you know, how do you build your your marriage? How do you, you know, build for those next years? And I feel like you guys have such a solid base, and I'm sure you guys have probably, without even realizing it, thought about how you see your marriage going in the next five years. Like, where what do you want for that? How do you think you get there?

SPEAKER_03 38:18

I mean, that's a really open-ended question, but but it's also like so exciting because you're like two months into marriage, like the world is your oyster. Like, what do you want for yourselves?

SPEAKER_00 38:26

We talked about that today.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

And the answer doesn't have to be I want to have a big family. Like, it's just like what do you like? It can be it can be that and more, or like it's just so exciting.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

I think we literally talked about today. I was like, do you think it's so weird? Like when I'm 34, I'm like, man, I've been married you for 10 years. Like, that's so cool. Yeah, like a little kid. Uh I I tell Jordan all the time, I say, my my goal in life, I have this very like vivid image, like seeing me and Jordan with gray hair, and hopefully I have a nice beard by then that she'll let me grow out. Yeah, you and me both, brother. Yeah, like duck dynasty style. That's what I want. Um, but with that, like seeing like grandkids play in the yard and like sitting in like two rocking chairs and be like, I made it. Like, that's definitely like the end goal. But I'd like over the next five years, I think the biggest goal I would say between my personal goal for our marriage is for us to not stop serving each other in the middle, like not the highs or the lows, like every day choosing each other like intentionally. Like, you know how I always say, treat everybody like it's their birthday. Like, I think that if you do that, you want to make their day feel special. So it's like I think that a big thing that I've realized, and it's only two months in, and I'm glad like I've recognized this. Everyone's probably like, oh my gosh. But it's just being honest, like, you forget, like, like I should go all out today. Like, I should, no matter what. Like, it's so easy just to get caught up in your routine. I'm going to work at eight, I'm gonna get home, I'm gonna go for a walk, I'm gonna go to Bible study. I'll see Jordan talk to her while we're and while she's doom scrolling and I'm screaming at the TV for the World Cup.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

But I think like Yeah, I know, dude. Not happy, not happy. But a point being in that is that over the next five years, I hope that I remember that. Like treat her like it's her birthday, like treat her special, like, and not in a way of like, oh, I'm always doing something for you, but just like love you properly. And like, and I think a lot of ways that we love each other properly is also keep each other accountable. Um, I think that's really hard in a marriage because sometimes you don't want to be like the bully and be like, well, like you, you know, like you probably shouldn't have done that. Like, it's hard to do that, like at least for me. Um, I don't love doing that, and I know you don't love, but we do grow that way spiritually. Like, we both sometimes I know it, like we've both said it before, like, like we're about to fall asleep, and one of us now just go, Oh, yeah, and pray. It's like, uh, like you were about to hit that like REM sleep. Like, it's like, Joe hates me, dude.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

He's like, he's like the full divine mercy chaplain. Like, we have to do it, we promised. But it's exactly but it's like it's 10 o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

But that's but that I feel like is where the best growth happens. And it's like and it's coming from like a pure place of love, and that's like what I want over the next five years. Love it.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Um, I agree with all of that too. Ditto. Ditto good that we said that. You know what? It took the words right out of my mouth. Um But I I think something that I really just don't like is when couples get married so young, and then you ask them, like, oh, how's married life? And they're like, marriage is really hard. Like it's really hard. Like, and everybody always, not everybody, but like I feel like a lot of times you hear, especially younger married couples, being like, Yeah, it's really hard, like it's a challenge every day, it's a sacrifice every day, and it just makes it sound like the wine teacher burden. Like, yeah, like you must not love each other because it's like it's a blessing to have to sacrifice things for the people you love. But I think in five years, like just to have the same I don't really think anything will change, but just to have the same mindset that we do now of like it's not like yeah, marriage can be difficult if you make it difficult, and like we're not at a point where difficult things have really come our way yet, like job loss or you know, the financial burdens or children. But if those things do come our way, just reminding ourselves, like um another uh the sixes told us this too, our close friends, like you're on the same team and you're fighting things together, and just remembering like marriage is only difficult if you make it really difficult, and you should be with your best friend, nothing should be hard if you're in love with your best friend and you fight everything together. So yeah, I think for sure.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

I think something that I just want to touch on that with that is I think like, and you guys will definitely agree with this, like the words sacrifice and love are like replaceable for me. Yeah, and I think that Jordan does like a great job. Um, I'm trying to get better about it, but being able to sit back and like just own up, be like, all right, I'm in the wrong right now, like and like taking accountability with that.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

Like it takes us both a little bit to get to that point, but Zach is always right, like it really annoys me so much. I like I'm we never everybody's always like, Oh, your wife is always right. The wife is never right. I the amount of times that I'm saying, You're right, Zach, you're right, I'm wrong, you're right. All the time. Um I mean, anytime he says you're right, I have to like take a photo of it because it never happens.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Oh my goodness, this is on recorded audio here. This is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

My audio just became bigger than like the Goodyear blimp at a mass bar phase.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

We can't wait to pop it. No, but like I think there's two things that you all touched on that are both important.

Living Backwards And Loving Now

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Like the number one thing, Zach, one of the things you said is treat everybody like it's their birthday. And one of the things we're gonna be talking about a little bit more coming up, and and one of the things I want to write about a little bit, um, my dad has this idea of he calls it living backwards. And he says, so often we're focused on like what's coming in front of us. But he said, you know, when you go and and check out the cashier, what if that's the last time you will ever talk to somebody?

SPEAKER_04 43:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Right? How do you instead of living forward, what if you lived backwards and thought about like, this is the last experience I'll ever have with somebody? This is the last time I'll have a chance to. Go to mass. This is my last chance to, you know, go to confession. This is my last chance to pray at night before, you know, and that's a little bit scary and a little bit morbid, but that's you know, one of the things he's been thinking about lately. And I think it's such a beautiful way to kind of frame your life is like when I'm interacting with people, not how you know what's what can I get out of them for the future, but hey, what if this is the last time I ever interact with this person? What do I want them to think about? What do I want them to remember? Um, and I know I agree. I think that was, and but you I mean, I think there's so much in a marriage that can be thought about that as like in a not in a scary way, not in a morbid way, but hey, how can we live and love each other because we're not promised tomorrow, right? Like Jesus is very clear about that, that we we are called to love each other, not in the future, not in the past, but right now. Um But I think that that's a great way to end the podcast as well.

Red Flag Or Green Flag Newlyweds

SPEAKER_01 44:56

So we do have one little we have our marriage meeting. Katie actually came up with the marriage meeting, so this is usually like a little game or a little trivia thing that we play with each other.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

Explaining event for Joe.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Yeah, a lot of times I just may explain stuff to Katie in marriage meeting. Um but Katie has red flag or green flag.

SPEAKER_03 45:13

So this yeah, it's I mean it's pretty self-explanatory, but since you're two months into marriage, alright? So I'm just gonna like lay out some just random things that like you may or may not do. And you tell me red flag, whether it's like something that you don't do, like not good at at all, or green flag, like oh, we got this, like we're good at that. Okay. Are we answering together or separate?

SPEAKER_01 45:34

This is called red flag or green flag.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01 45:38

No, so it's you're either good at it or you're bad at it. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

But is this a stupid game? No, I like it. Wait, maybe I'm wrong. Do you know this game?

SPEAKER_01 45:49

No, I've never heard you're good. Red flag or green.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

I did not make it up. I looked up. I was like, fun things to do with Gen Z. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

Fun things to do with Gen Z.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

Okay, so just so I just want to be clear. So green flag is things that we do. Red flags are things we don't do.

unknown 46:06

You're like bad at, or like you're like, don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

You're bad at it. So not like do well. Like I think. Give us an example. Yeah, give us a few. So the first one is an easy example.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

So do we are we gonna use this example? Praying together every day. Oh, so we say green flag.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Green flag. This is something we do, it's good. It's a good thing, and we do it together.

SPEAKER_03 46:26

I think there are fans planning this.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

I am oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

But now I'm doubting myself. Is that not how to play this game? Are you sure? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 46:37

Now I'm insecure. No, Katie, go. Can we explain the game for us?

SPEAKER_01 46:40

I don't understand Katie's version. Yeah, Zach. Zach was like, who's is there yapping around? I can't understand. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

Who's holding the mic right now?

SPEAKER_01 46:50

Alright, all right. Next question.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

No, that's the next question. I get it.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Okay, okay, thank you guys.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

We believe in you, Katie.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

So there was still some mansplaining to be had. I'm really glad you got the mansplaining, green red flag. Red flag.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

Red flag. Manslaning. Green flag.

SPEAKER_03 47:07

Big red flag over here. Okay, going to bed angry. So flag.

SPEAKER_02 47:14

Wait, sorry. Maybe I am we don't do it. So let's just say green or a bad idea.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Like thumbs up.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

See, this is what I'm saying. This is what a red flag is.

SPEAKER_01 47:28

It's my fault. It's my fault, everyone. Okay, so green flag would be we never go to bed angry. Red flag is we go to bed angry.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

Okay. I don't think I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

We don't go to bed angry, though.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

Did I say red flag and that's bad?

SPEAKER_01 47:40

But you the way the way I said it was. I'm sorry. The way you described it was green flag is this is something we do, red flag, this is something we don't do. And the question is going to bed angry. So with the answer is red flag, because we don't Okay, I understand now.

SPEAKER_03 47:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

I think it cut out.

SPEAKER_03 47:58

Huh? Oh.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Or my cut out.

unknown 48:00

Both of them?

SPEAKER_03 48:01

Just this one. Please pause. We are back. We're back.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Back and better than that.

SPEAKER_03 48:13

Joe's done mansplaining. He has been punished thoroughly. Oh my goodness. I'm so confused. Now I'm second guessing myself. Okay. No, we get it. We got it. Okay. Um do you have separate hobbies? Green flag. Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

That's definitely needed. Very green flag.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Very green flag. Okay. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

Green flag for us as well.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

Yeah. Yeah. Do we? Doesn't Jed Rock climb? You're right. Yeah, you don't go to bar with me. I don't get you never give me a bar.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

What is what is that workout class? Yeah, we're going to be. Okay, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

And it's hard. We went one time with Katie. Was that the one we went to with you, Katie? And it was hard. Katie.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

That was like a that was hard. That was okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

Allie and I looked at each other, we said, what the heck is this?

SPEAKER_03 49:02

She took us to Good Sport for coming with us. Okay, sending memes instead of text. Uh red flag. I don't really, we don't send memes that often. Yeah, I don't really know. I feel like you send me memes all the time, and I just like don't.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

I think Zach and I are funny enough that we don't need memes. We don't need memes. Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

So that's like a green flag as in you. Don't do it because yeah, I guess we can't do a red flag.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

We definitely send me, but like Katie will be like, I just send Katie memes as like a response. She'll text me something, and I will oftentimes just text her a meme instead.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

Okay, does one spouse do? Does one spouse do all the cooking? No. We do it together.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

We cook together.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

Zach does the meat and I do the sides.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

Joe is like cooking together. All the cooking.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

Joe's an amazing channel.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

Not that I don't.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

You you do you bake.

SPEAKER_03 49:59

I well, I bake. I like to cook, but Joe just is picky, so like I can't cook.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

You should have seen the way I just called for the mic. I'm not picky anymore. Okay? You say that on the podcast a lot. I'm not picky anymore.

SPEAKER_03 50:13

I get to decide.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Joe picky divine with the mic in his head.

unknown 50:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

Well, I think that um oh there it goes. I think that it works because Zach cooks the meat the way he likes it, and then I get to make the pasta. But I think we're both good enough that we like chefs that we would be able to cook for each other, not care. So it's like gonna be a family affair when yeah, kids are involved. But it's fun to cook together.

SPEAKER_03 50:40

Alright, finances. Are we good at budgeting? Are we not good at budgeting? Where are we at?

SPEAKER_02 50:46

I would say green flag, but that's because Zach doesn't believe in spending any money ever.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

Red flag. Poor old red flag.

SPEAKER_02 50:56

We don't have like fights about finances. Zach's just like, did you really go to the mall again? Yes, I did. Just gotta say something.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

I think we're getting better.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

We are getting better, but I'm like, what what do we get on Amazon again? Yeah, exactly. Why is there a box again?

SPEAKER_02 51:12

Why did we just lose $100 when Clemson lost to USA? Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 51:16

Oh my goodness, she's calling you out. Allegedly, this is all don't believe anything.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

What is this Venmo for?

SPEAKER_01 51:23

Brendan Soresby over here.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

I feel like we switched roles on who's like the one that's like um but like better at budgeting or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

We just need like we just need Dave Ramsey behind us every time before we make a purchase.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

So this is a story. I don't know if I've ever told this on the podcast. When I graduated college, my brother gave me the Dave Ramsey book, and he hid a hundred dollar bill in the Dave Ramsey book. And you know, a hundred dollar bill is so skinny, so you you won't see it until you read the book. So I I read it, you know, like two weeks after he gave me the book. Because at first I was like, wow, is this all you're giving me? And he's like 12 years older than me. So I was like, dang, man, you're just giving me this finance book for my birthday? Like, this kind of sucks. Like, whatever. But then I read the book and there was a hundred dollar bill in there, so I called him. Did he like nudge you to it? Was he like, you probably should read that book? Yeah, yeah, of course. He was like, No, you should read the book, man. So anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

Alright, switching from finances to the dishes. Um are we leaving dishes to soak? Are we like what what how are we how are we ranging on like doing the dishes at the end of the day?

SPEAKER_02 52:29

Um, it depends. I think green flag on it where we We're pretty good about, but neither of us are like, gotta do the dishes before bed. Like, not really. Like, if there's dirty dishes, I think we'll do them tomorrow. Good for you. I think we're pretty good at it.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

Yeah, I think we're pretty good at the dishes. Um, all right. Last one, this is a good one. Saying I'm fine when you're not.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

Green flag? We don't do that. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

We'd much rather we just tell each other exactly how we're feeling.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

I was right. I was right. I realize now this is very confusing.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

We are bringing back green flag, red flag 2.0 for Katie next pod to help her out.

SPEAKER_03 53:09

Maybe I didn't understand my own game. I should never be in charge of marriage meetings. This is what we've learned.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

Well, it's this is like wives, this is like Jordan saying she was wrong all the time.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

I know.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

This is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 53:23

Yeah, you literally were just like, yeah, I don't want to mansplain and then Joe sort of mansplaining you're like, keep going. Maybe Joe needs to explain it again. Explain it.

SPEAKER_03 53:32

And what are we doing again?

SPEAKER_00 53:33

Yeah. Katie actively giving the instructions and then fully second guessing herself.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

All the time.

SPEAKER_01 53:39

Smooth brain. So, yes or no. Do you do you say you're fine when you're not?

SPEAKER_02 53:45

No.

SPEAKER_01 53:45

No.

unknown 53:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:46

Zach will look at me and be like, what's wrong? This is exactly what is wrong. I think you do it more than I do. Like, Zach, are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I'm good. Are you sure you're okay? I'm hungry.

SPEAKER_00 53:59

I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

I think we might be the same person in a relationship. It's gotten to the point.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

This is really true, but honestly, really true. Me and Katie are gonna start a podcast, and Joe and Jordan are gonna start a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 54:11

It's gotten to the point I say to Zach, maybe you need to go have a bite of something. It makes him so angry.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

I would be a perfect Snickers commercial person.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

You're not yourself when you're hungry.

unknown 54:21

Relatable.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

Alright, we do have one last thing.

Advice For Engaged And Newlyweds

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Very quickly, just a piece of advice to newlywed couples.

SPEAKER_03 54:28

Or engaged.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Engaged or newlyweds.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

In both being engaged and newlyweds, stop listening to everybody else. I mean, when we're engaged, not just about wedding planning, but about everything in general. Oh, when you guys get married, do this. When you get your apartment, you gotta do this. Well, joint bank accounts, you gotta da da da da. Don't listen to anybody. Like, do what is right for you, and no one's opinion really matters all that much. Like, if you think that this is right between the two of you, it's your marriage. No one else is in your marriage. So I like that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

Um let your wedding day be the day that you love your spouse the least.

SPEAKER_01 55:10

Yeah, that's good. Oh, that's really good.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

Yeah, um definitely star.

SPEAKER_03 55:18

That was so good that Joe had to be.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

It was so good that the Holy Spirit just got just got to beat out and go. I don't know if I know how to do that. But I think the explosive on it.

SPEAKER_03 55:31

Everyone's gonna be listening through a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

It's an MJ family friendly podcast.

SPEAKER_03 55:37

I'm gonna have to like re-record another audio and listen and wait for you to say that and be like, I think I'm gonna do it. That's all I've done.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

I I got told that, and I can honestly say that's that's a great piece of advice. Like, if you're having a rough day, you like look back and we're now, you know what? Like, I do love her like more than like I did on my wedding day. Like, that's the best piece of advice. Like, keep chasing because I think people eventually get stagnant, and I'm trying to make sure that never happens. Always chase after her.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

Which brings us to always growing together. Like, that's what this whole podcast is about, and what we hope that people are picking up on is just this concept that we are constantly growing. Like, the scariest thing you can be is stagnant or complacent. And it's great that we like have friends and like a really great community to like remind us of like, don't get too comfortable. Like, life is too good to just stay where you are, like, keep growing. So, I love that you already have that mindset, and hopefully, we can all, you know, keep it up.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

But, anyways, do you have any final thoughts?

Final Laughs And Closing

SPEAKER_01 56:34

No, this is a great podcast.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

Thank you for joining us in our chaos. This is like truly how we do every podcast. So we you're more than welcome to come back anytime if we haven't scared you away. Cookie dinner.

SPEAKER_00 56:48

We'll do a year anniversary pod in a year. We'll do a year out.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

So you're gonna do one of me and Allie, how to be good friends, and we're gonna see who has more chemistry. Me and Allie are being a good one.

SPEAKER_01 56:58

That's a great podcast.

SPEAKER_03 56:59

We're gonna have to do that. Just like, and we can play red flag, green flag.

SPEAKER_00 57:03

Yes, red flag, green flag is coming back with me, Allie, and Jordan revamping.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

We will be explaining and it will be woman-splained.

SPEAKER_01 57:12

I will be the and everyone will be confused.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

I was just about to say, so we'll all be able to understand it.

SPEAKER_03 57:22

Okay, we always let me just whisper this, and everyone's probably still gonna hear it.

SPEAKER_04 57:26

We always say this is. I didn't hear it in my head. I'm ready, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 57:33

Are you ready? Okay, wait, that's what we that's what we say, right? You can't ask him every time.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

All right, well, all right, uh, thank you, everybody. This is the Vine Podcast. And let's keep growing together.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

Bye, y'all.