Father’s Day Reflection with St. Joseph

We trade our weekly peaks and pits, from reconnecting with old friends and family pool days to the kind of funk that comes from a pileup of small problems. Then we shift toward Father’s Day by reflecting on Saint Joseph and what his quiet, practical holiness teaches us about marriage, fatherhood, fear, and providing well. 
• Oliver’s surprise podcast cameo and the chaos of real life at home 
• Reconnecting with old friends and how good friendships pick up fast 
• How a week of small issues can hit harder than one big problem 
• Parenting curveballs like bath time changes and sleep regressions 
• Saint Joseph as a relatable model of holiness and courage 
• Letting God steer when fear and control feel safer 
• The power of Joseph’s hidden years and faith lived quietly 
• What “provider” really means beyond money and status 
• How fatherhood changes the way we feel fear and responsibility 
• A quick marriage meeting game with real minor league team names 
If you can share the podcast. If you shared, if you liked, if you followed, and just joined in on the journey officially. So that we can keep growing together 

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Transcript

Oliver Crashes The Cold Open

SPEAKER_02 0:04

That was Oliver.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Oh, we were recording? I didn't realize we were recording. Hi, I'm Joe.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

I'm Katie.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

And welcome to the V. That was Oliver.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

That was Oliver.

SPEAKER_03 0:30

I think this is his first uh podcast appearance.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Yep. He doesn't usually get the privilege of being a part of this because he's pretty loud-mouthed.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Oh well, and he like doesn't really like hanging out with us.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Yeah, he prefers to sit on the couch.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Yeah, he's kind of just like vibing on his own usually, and then he'll bark really loudly and then silently like make my heart stop because he's barking so loud and I'm worried about the baby waking up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So anyways, he's loud today. He's he's he's our special guest. He seems chill. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Wow, just right into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Well, I threw me off because normally I say, Hi, I'm Katie.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

I know. And then I we just ruined it because I didn't know we were recording, and I just wanted to hear all of our breathing into the mic, and then that's our start. He's like everybody probably hated that. Um you want me to start? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Since

Peaks And Pits Of The Week

SPEAKER_02 1:25

we're doing things backwards today.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Yeah, backwards day today. Peak. Um, what was my peak this week? Oh, um I see it's hard when you're put on the spot. Um, I went to Baltimore this week, and while I didn't get to see the Orioles play, which would have been, you know, would have been great. Um, I did get to see one of my old college uh roommates and his wife who live in Baltimore now, and we got to see them. That was my first time seeing them in a while, and I got to see our college dog, who is, I think Tucker's nine now. Wow, he's either eight or five.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

From what you said, he doesn't look like it.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

No, he looks great. They've done a great thing. He was giving me lots of love and kisses, and I got to hang out with them, and that was just really nice to see them. It's like really fun when you get to you know reconnect. Like a lot of those friendships. I think you and I have talked about this maybe on the podcast before, but there's so many friendships that like even though I've haven't seen Corbin in probably close to a year, if not longer, you just jump right back in. Yeah, you know, it's just the same, you're having the same conversation, not the same conversations, but you're hitting the same beats, it's the same rhythm. Yeah, you just know this person well enough to know how the conversation's gonna go. And like, you know, uh, he also he and his wife are also high school sweethearts, so I spent a lot of time with his girlfriend. Well, when they were girl, boyfriend, girlfriend, and now his wife, like we spent a lot of time with them together as well. So it's just you know, it's neat to see people also in like different phases of life. Yeah. Um, I don't know. It was just cool. It was really nice to see them, and I got to eat a crab cake in Maryland. So I'm so jealous. Big thumbs up there.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

So jealous.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Um, Pitt, I would say we kind of talked about it yesterday, and I don't know, I don't really have a good reason for it. I've just kind of been in a funk, I would say, this past week. I think it's like I think I tend to do really well when I have like one or two things are going, I'll say like poorly, are going wrong.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

But when it's a lot of little things going wrong, like I don't mind like big problems don't really scare me. But it's funny. I know, but like I feel like I do handle big stuff pretty well.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

When I have lots of little problems that just like add up, it just like adds up, and that's where I like I think I kind of have my struggles. So I feel like this week I've just had like nine little problems with like everything that I've touched, whether it was like stuff going on here, whether it was stuff going on with work, whether it was, you know, I don't know. A bunch of random stuff was just like nothing was going horribly wrong or bad, but just like nothing could seem to go right.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Even in especially in the little things, and that's what gets to me.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

So nothing in particular. I'm not used to seeing you in a funk, so it makes me sad.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

I know that she's not I'm better today. Today's been great.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Today's been a good morning. We got to go to eight o'clock mass. That's our favorite time to go to mass. Yeah. At our favorite church.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

I know, at our home parish.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

And it felt like a normal Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

I wonder what the stats are, and I'd be interested if we ever are lucky enough to have a priest on, or maybe even Father Longnecker, if we get lucky enough. What the stats are for young adults, how many times a week do they actually go to the parish that they are registering?

SPEAKER_02 4:42

I feel like it depends on who you ask, right? Like if you're asking somebody like a young family like us that is trying to like work around their baby, yeah, probably low.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

But like the crosses always go to eight o'clock mass at that's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

You're so right. Guys, John, Liz, how do you do it? How do you go to eight o'clock mass every single Sunday?

SPEAKER_03 5:02

I don't know. They do it, they're there. So I mean, same thing, like uh we there's a lot of our young couple friends that are always at the eight o'clock mass.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Maybe they just, you know, they're just like, this is the mass we want to go to and we're just gonna make it work.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Maybe they're just not obsessed over their babies.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah, I'm like, I covet.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

I covet you. Um sorry, that was a sidetrack. Your peaks and pits.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Okay. I feel like I thought it's really good like past couple weeks.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Good.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

I have a lot of peaks. That's awesome. No, I couldn't, I'm trying to think of like a pit and I I can't think of anything like at the top of my head right now. But a peak for sure, taking her to the pool has so so the la yesterday we went. It did not go like great. She's somehow decided she doesn't like the water anymore, which is so funny because like we've been giving her baths pretty much since she was four days old. Like, we've been trying to get into the routine of like bath time before bed.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Every day.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Every day, even if it's not like a real bath, just like getting her comfortable with the water. And you think you're doing these things because you're like, oh, I'm gonna make I'm gonna make exposure to like water easy for her, and we're gonna have an easy water baby. And she was fine for the most part until literally last week she's decided she hates bath time.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Yeah, yes, it's true.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

She hasn't had a like a normal bath, yeah, and it's like so out of the blue, and it's like it just makes it's just humbling because it's like you think you're gonna doing all these things to like help you and help her in the future, but like they change so fast and decide things are not okay anymore when you don't really have a reasoning. So, anyways, yesterday did not love the pool. The first day we brought her though was so fun. She was like giggling, splashing, making herself laugh at the water, and it was cold, like the water was cool.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Okay, that's another mini pit was that I didn't get to see that in person because I was traveling.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Yeah, adding to the funk that Joe Devine is in.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Um, but she had such a good time, and I was so bummed that she like did not have a good time with you yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

She was fine for a little while, like she had her moments.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she didn't realize she was in the water, honestly, it was really fun sitting.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

I know this wasn't actually in the pool, but it was fun just sitting at the little table, like we had our sandwiches, like it felt like a family pool day that like we had growing up.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

Yeah, it was just like this is like what our life can look like and will look like for whoever knows like how long, you know? So that was fun. And another peak, sorry, breaking the rules. Yeah, you go ahead. I've had been able to have like quiet time in the morning again, and it's like been pretty consistent. And I just like feel, you know, that was like such a priority before, and my priorities have shifted. I know it's not possible to have like quiet time in the morning, so when it does happen, it's like wow, this is like such a gift. And on the flip side, it makes me feel like I've been able to have a quiet time despite having like bad nights with her. Does that make sense? Like in the past, like I used to be such a sleep snob. I would need like 10 a sleep snob? Yes, I would need like 10, 11 hours of sleep in order to be like a normal, happy, functioning human then. You would sleep for 10 hours, and I would get stressed about whether or not I would like get enough sleep. So obviously, you can't do that with a baby, but even in the early stages, like I if I had a bad night with her, I was like, well, the next day is shot, like I'm just gonna nap and like not get to do what I want to do. And she's going through like a little bit of a sleep regression. So we've had a couple of like iffy nights with her where she's waken up a couple of times, but like I've woken up still very refreshed. Like, I feel like I'm adapting, and that just makes me feel good. And the fact that in addition to adapting, I can still have like a good quiet morning, it's been really oh we love that good, and so really no major pits, but I think this is a funny one. Yesterday, like when we were just getting into the groove of like having a pool day, like we were like we got we got our cooler, we got everything settled, pulled the chairs out, she was happy as a clam in the water for a first time. Yeah, we were all in the water. It was so good. I'm like, oh, I could be here all day, and then somebody somebody makes an announcement and it's like, excuse me, everyone, get out of the pool, get out of the pool. There's poop in the water.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

This is true. This is very true. I forgot about this.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Yeah, they we were like, You're kidding, and he's like, Nope, it's real. You got deterred.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

Well, what's even funnier is we watch them pull it out.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

And then, of course, like my first thought is like, Did she poop?

SPEAKER_03 9:33

That's what, yeah, both the you and I were like, Oh my gosh, she pooped.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

But we were not on that side of the pool, and she had a swim diaper on and like a swimming.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

And this isn't TMI thing, she doesn't poop turds.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

She's only eight months old. Like the we we have little patties. We've got little soft patties that she makes.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

But they like this guy had to come and like fish it out and then retreat the water or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

That was sad. So, anyways, when he left, we all still got back in the water. Is that weird to this?

SPEAKER_03 10:00

Yeah, uh well, it's here now. Everybody knows.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Listen, there were lots of people who all it was probably in there for much longer than anyone really realized.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

You know what? If that's what kills us, we we really have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

And we redeemed, we redeemed our day and sat still had like such a great day. So yeah. That's good. Those are the peaks and pits. Good. All right.

Why Saint Joseph For Father’s Day

SPEAKER_03 10:21

All right.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

So by the time this episode is coming out, it'll probably be No, it's coming out uh next Monday.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

Okay, around the day. The week before Father's Day.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

There you go. The week before Father's Day.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Because I looked this up because I'm away next weekend at a batch row party, and I was like, am I gonna be away for my first Father's Day? That's kind of sad.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Celebrating with the boys. Yeah. But um it was anyways, by the time this comes out, it'll be Father's Day. And so we thought it would be fitting to just talk about like Saint Joseph and like do a little bit of a reflection for our our man over here.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

About you know, fatherhood and like what that looks like, and just kind of diving into the character of character, the saint that Saint Joseph is and all his characteristics and like what made him so like great and so humble, and like why he was like a necessary part of the equation. Yeah. So, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

I like that. You have questions, right? I do have questions. Sorry. No, you're good.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

You're good, don't hurt falling apart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

If you if you're watching the video companion, uh Katie's struggling. Yeah, Katie's struggling. And if you're just listening, you're like, why did they go quiet for a second?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Anyways, I have some notes here which are jumbled per usual.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

But um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

I I have no idea what's coming, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Well, it's nothing crazy. But um, I don't know, why don't we start by just like talking about Saint Joseph? Let's like dive into his characteristics first and why that's been like an important. I feel like he's been a big part of like our marriage too. Like there was a time period where we were um we were big on doing like the consecration to Mary, but there's also a consecration to Saint Joseph. And so this was something that we both did. Yeah, this is something that we took part in prior to having a baby. It was part of kind of like our prayer for um expanding our family. So I don't know, like why why Saint Joseph?

SPEAKER_03 12:14

I think that he Mary represents uh Mary and Jesus represent almost I know this is not true, this is just my thoughts, like an unattainable holiness. Like they are, you know, Jesus is of course perfect, Mary is without sin. Like they are there's a reason that they are models for us. To me, Saint Joseph represents the maybe like the practical first step. I don't know how to phrase it properly, but Saint Joseph seems to have lived an achievable holiness, even though he's probably way holier than so many other people, and there's a reason that God chose him to be you know the earthly father of Christ.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

But more relatable.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Yeah, and I think that's the big thing is like how many people are 14-year-old, I guess 14-year-old girls or 16, however old Mary was, and are asked, Hey, will you give birth to the savior of the universe? Yeah, that's Jesus at you know, basically from the time he, you know, went into the temple until you know and started his ministry until he was, you know, died on the cross, he had a pretty good idea of hey, I'm I'm here for something big, and he had to carry that burden, carry that cross, ultimately to the point of you will die for the sins of the entire world.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Yeah, right? Like yeah, those are pretty big things actions.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

And while St. Joseph had you know, hey, you're called to marry this woman that you don't really know, she is with child, um, you know, you there was so much he had so much going on as well, it seems I don't want to say a little more grounded, but it just seems a little more again, attainable.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Relate I think relatable is a good word because he still achieved holiness despite despite his fears.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

And I guess ultimately he said no first.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Well, he I don't even think he really flat out said no. He was like, like I shouldn't do that, you know.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Like I he said, I you know, hey, I'm gonna divorce her quietly.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

I'm gonna do things I'm gonna dismiss her quietly, is what it says.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

You mean in in in doing so, when he says that, he doesn't want to bring shame upon Mary or her family, but he also said, Hey, um I'm gonna push myself away from the situation. Yeah. And then when God, you know, or the angel, I think it was Gabriel, right, came, spoke to him again, he was like, Okay, all right, fine. I I will step up to the call. But he I don't know, I his story, like you said, just seems a little more relatable to me. And I think that that is why when we go through earthly hardships, at least for me personally, Saint Joseph is somebody who I think about often because Mary is concerned, Mary and Jesus are concerned with the fate of the universe, the fate of the world. Joseph is like, I need to make sure that like we have a place to sleep tonight.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Just providing for his immediate family.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

And um, I don't know, I think that's why it is such a like you said, very relatable. Because nine times out of ten, if you're a good Christian, you go to church, you practice like the Ten Commandments, like you're not doing anything like heinous out there.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Yeah. Um the sins are staring at your neighbor's wife, just coveting her.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

The sins are a lot more like gray in the gray area. Yeah. And so, like, a lot of the times we will choose the easier route. So, like, the easy route for him was to dismiss her quietly. It was also probably a respectable thing to do as well. Like, that was good for, you know, it's not gonna bring shame to her.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

It's not gonna It wasn't wrong.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

It wasn't the wrong answer, but was it the right? Like, was it the best answer?

SPEAKER_03 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

And I mean, of course, like God's not gonna force his hand. He just sent that Holy Spirit nudge, that angel, to be like, hey, like you you gotta do this. But how many times do we even like allow that invitation to come into our heart? Like whenever we're in the same position, right? Like the easy answer is to be like, all right, let's do this like quietly, let's like not bring any attention to us. Like, I want to remain respectful to you, but I also don't want to bring this, I don't want to burden this, whatever this is. And I just feel like that is that is where the struggle is for a lot of us, like lukewarm Christians, you know. It's like I don't want to take that next step, and this doesn't seem to be harming anybody, so let me go this route.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Yeah, well, and there's a comfort in, you know, hey, I'm doing what I think is the right thing.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah, and there's a lot of comfort in that. It's n it's controllable, like this. I can still control the situation and it's not bringing anybody harm. Yeah. And so that is typically the route that most of us wanted to take for ourselves. Yeah, I agree. But and I'm just gonna read this because I'm not gonna be able to say this as eloquently. I think that that like it's well never mind. See, like, I'm still trying to like trying to say it, then I'm just gonna read it. Read it. Even through Joseph's fears, God's will, his history, and his plan were at work. Joseph then teaches us that faith in God includes believing that he can work, even through our fears, our frailties, and our weaknesses. He also teaches us that amid the tempest, tempest of life, we must never be afraid to let the Lord steer our course. At times we want to be in complete control, yet God always sees the bigger picture. Um, but yeah, that's I mean, that just kind of points out like how how he was able to work through his fears and like allow God to steer the course.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

And I think that's a good example. As a father, I think you want to try and be in con I mean, everybody wants to be in control of their own life and of what's going on. But I think specifically with the role of the father in the family, especially during those times, in the role of the husband, like control is what he's supposed to have. Yeah. And I like that reflection that, you know, he had to learn to give up on that control.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

You know, and learn to kind of go outside of what what his comfort was and his fears, you know. I think that's another reason why you know he seems like such a relatable figure is he was probably very scared. He was scared, you know, and and anxious, like I'm I'm envisioning just an anxious, you know, you're I envision like you pacing around the house.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yeah. Like like cleaning the surfaces as you do when you're anxious.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

Yeah. And like I I'm sure that's probably how he was feeling where the a lot of the times where Mary and Jesus seem most relatable is when they are also anxious. Yeah. You know, it's it's Jesus in the garden praying for the chalice to pass. It's Mary um, you know, being a little frightened when the angel first comes in, you know, like it's that those are relatable moments.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Yeah. Well, and it wasn't just like a one and done thing, like it wasn't like the angel said this and Joseph was like, okay, totally. Like that's what I'm gonna do for you. He had, and I'm not gonna be able to speak in detail about this, so I'll share the reflection if you want to read it. But he had dreams, like he had dreams about it, and it was like a continuous process until he finally like surrendered to to it. So I feel like that's also relatable.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

And and uh that's a good point, and I uh I don't think I knew that that he had it was a process of dreams, and I that's another when we read scripture, um, or sometimes these beautiful reflections or the lives of the saints, what what we uh don't understand or grasp is that it was a gradual process for them to get into sainthood and for them to to gain the courage to have these um these big moments. It was not their capacity grew grew with time, with time, not you know, it wasn't like bam, angel Joseph says, All right, I'm gonna love Mary for the rest of my life and be the earthly father of the savior of the world.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

And I just like think about that from a human perspective. Like, okay, if God, if an angel truly did say that to me, I'd be like, okay, but like my heart wouldn't be there. And so like God probably wanted Joseph's heart to be fully equipped to not only do what he's asking, but to love Mary and Jesus well. And you can't just do that instantly, like it is a process.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

And God like would so much rather a willing heart rather than one that feels obligated.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Um, so yeah, anyways, so that's Joseph's fears.

The Hidden Saint In Scripture

SPEAKER_02 20:43

But another thing I wanted to talk about was um this man that goes unnoticed, this man that doesn't really get a lot of spotlight in the Bible. Like Mary often is he's often putting Mary on this pedestal, and that is probably what he happily wanted to do. Yes. Um but yeah, I just wanted to talk about that a little. Do you have any thoughts on like his hidden presence in the Bible?

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Yeah, I think you know, there's a speci there's a reason why you don't, you know, once basically after the story, the nativity, you don't you don't hear from Joseph really again. Yeah and I but clearly he impacted Christ Christ's life. I mean, he learned his trade from Joseph, you know, he was the carpenter as well. Like I think there's so much to be spoken for doing the right thing even if it's no one's seeing, no one's watching, you know, and that's what Joseph was doing. He was not, you know, recorded in the you know in the scriptures of like how exactly he parented Jesus and how he you know made sure Jesus knew what was right from wrong. Right. You know, that was just instilled through who he was as a person. And I think that as a as a father, for what I can envision for my family and what I remember growing up. I think you emulate your father a lot. You know, because mothers spend so much time caring and nurturing their you won't spend too much time with your mom. That's why your mom becomes less cool. This is in general speaking. But like you're just spending so much time with your mom that you you want to do what's kind of opposite from that. So you see what your dad is doing, your father, and you just tend to emulate that. Yeah. And like I'm often I spent a lot of time growing up with my mom because my dad traveled. And I think you're cool, Miss T. Yes, yes. My mom is very cooler.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

I thought she was cooler before you.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

I know this is true. Um but like I share a lot of characteristics with my mom, but people who meet me first and then meet my dad go, you have the exact same mannerisms as your dad.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

And I think that's interesting because I probably unknowingly just started to mirror him.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

And I think that what?

SPEAKER_00 22:58

You're getting emotional. I'm not. It totally looks like you're crying right now. I'm not crying at all.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Uh oh, there goes her headphones. Yeah, that's what you get for making fun of me.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Keep going.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

Um, oh goodness gracious, this is gonna be a mess, everyone. Um, but no, I think that that is I know that I began to mirror my dad. And I'm sure that Jesus, again, he was fully human. It's the same thing. He mirrored who Joseph was as a man, his mannerisms, his caringness, his the way he interacted with people. Like that's one of the skills and lessons I learned from my father was watching him interact with other people.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

And I know that Jesus probably did the same thing with Joseph, you know? There is a reason that Joseph was picked to be his father.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Well, in the man that we are seeing, like that's a good point, because the man that we see in Jesus is likely a reflection of who he saw. Yes. As growing up.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

And it well, and Jesus is the perfect example. That's a man who who has two fathers. Yeah. Technically, Jesus a son, and he is a reflection of both of the fathers that he has.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Yes, yes, yeah. That's so I don't know why that was like a big library. You're right. But and um a lot of like Jesus' life, right? Like before he was 30, like that growing up years, like call it like the quiet period or whatever. Um, that is probably where Joseph was working the most.

SPEAKER_03 24:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

And like that's the part that we don't see. That's that, but those are the most pivotal m moments of Jesus' upbringing because that is shaping him into the man that became ultimately like our savior in our faith. And um what was I saying? Oh, oh gosh, I lost it.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

We're reflections, you know, he was a reflection of St. Joseph.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

But yeah, I don't know. I think my my point, oh, oh, oh, my point is those like the quiet years that we don't see where Joseph is probably working the most, providing the most for his family. Yeah, um, I feel like that's also very relatable to us because it's, you know, a lot of the times I feel like I get insecure about what the what people see, you know, like how I'm coming across, like how as a parent? As a parent, or in just in general, like how how put together like our family feels, or myself, honestly. Like, and I get insecure when I'm like, oh gosh, like I just didn't handle that well in public, or like, gosh, now they think like I'm chaotic, or I don't know, whatever it might be, or or like, oh, she doesn't know like why her baby's crying. I don't know. Like, yeah, you name it, I've felt it. But it's the it's the quiet moments that people don't see that are the most important. And I think Joseph reminds us of that. Like, it's not he had no desire really to be mentioned or praised, or or maybe he didn't, he we just don't know, but I I doubt it. Um, but he was most confident in his vocation as a father and and a husband, and that you know, there's so much to like our lives as well that goes unnoticed, and and it's okay. And like, and I guess my point is like people will make judgments, and you will make judgments about yourself, but really learning how to like be satisfied and content with you know all the mundane day-to-day things that happen that shape you as a family and a person.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Well, what I've noticed a theme kind of running of our last few episodes, is you and I've just been reflecting on things, is it's so much about a life and faith lived versus spoken.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Yes, and it's a funny thing to say on a thing lived, yeah, you're so right.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Yeah, it's a funny thing to say on a podcast that we have, and you and I both love talking. But it is again so much of Jesus probably didn't say, Here's how to you know, Joseph didn't say to Jesus, here's how to speak in front of a crowd, here's how to notice the people who go un unnoticed. He just lived it, he just did that, and Jesus saw that. And I think you know, one of the words you kept using was provider, and this is one of the few things we did kind of discuss beforehand, but um I think a father's role in St. Joseph

Rethinking What A Provider Means

SPEAKER_03 27:03

again is a is a beautiful example of an to us earthly fathers, he is a provider, and we think oftentimes of a provider as someone who makes the most money, you know, or you know, brings in the most fish. But that is not the true provider and the role of a father in the family as a provider is to assess what his family needs in that moment and provide that to the family. And I think St. Joseph clearly did a great job of that in lurking at his family and saying, okay, they don't need another, you know, um, not that he's not a spiritual leader, they need someone practically on the ground, making sure they get safely to Bethlehem. They need somebody to make sure that they're going to have a house to live in and that there is a trade that's being worked and that there is food on the table. And he kept looking for those opportunities to be the provider, not monetarily or even, you know, physically with food, but spiritually as well. What does the family need? Yeah. Um, and I think that that's a something we can learn, you know. There's plenty of, especially now in today's world, there's plenty of women who make more than their spouses. And there's nothing that's amazing. There's nothing wrong with that. So your role as a father then and a provider in the family is to look and say, okay, what then do I need to provide to the family? Because ultimately the mother is the nurturer and the the homemaker, quote unquote, if you will, but not in the sense that, like, you know, you make sure the throw pillars are decorated correctly, but does the house feel like a home? Does the family come together? The father's role again is as the provider, not monetarily, but does the family have its needs met? And again, I think that's where you know we've lost what what the true meaning of the the roles of father and mother in the family are. You know, it it's not that you stay in the kitchen and I sit in my big leather chair and and read a newspaper and watch TV. It's that, you know, the what are you laughing at?

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Laughing at me literally sitting on the ground of our kitchen. Well, I have to sit here.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Yeah. Yeah, well, I hate the kitchen, but here I am.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

I don't cook. And you just like sitting in your office reading a newspaper, which we don't have newspapers.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Yeah, you know, we love the newspaper. But no, I guess that's it's it's not about the gender roles, quote unquote, but it's about the again, are you as the father figure, are you providing for what your family needs? You as the mother figure, are you creating the home, the caring environment and space?

SPEAKER_02 29:50

Well, and I think people get really lost in those roles and insecure when they're not providing or homemaking in the way that the world is making those things seem like. Yes, you know, like there we've met plenty of like guys that feel insecure because they feel like they're not providing in the way that so-and-so is. Like, well, that's that's how that person needs to provide. But yeah, what how how do you need to provide? Like, that's gonna look so different for you, and vice versa, homemaking. Like, you know, like I had always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Like I wanted to be the one that like stayed at home and provided like a nurturing environment and god forbid homeschooled and big bread. And there are still components of that that I carry with me, but I like working. Yeah, and I like going to work. I am fortunate that I only have to work a couple times a week. Thank you, promoter. But I I like it when I go and I I like turns on a different part of my brain that I don't get to use at home.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

And I can't imagine, honestly, you one of my sisters, my sister uh works, my mom, and they've both both of them, and now you've said it too, that they couldn't imagine not working. But we know plenty of people who stay at home and couldn't imagine going back to work.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Right. And I I think it makes me like a better homemaker. I feel like when I come home, I I'm able to look at the house in our family in a different way or in a refreshed way, and like can provide that so much better. And so I feel like people just get so lost in like like this formulary type of you know, like how to be this this plus this equals this. And it's just so much more nuanced nuanced, nuanced nuanced than that.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

It's so much more nuanced than that.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

That's crazy, crazy. Um, gosh, what else was I gonna say?

SPEAKER_03 31:42

I had so many thoughts on that, but maybe it's well no, I mean you're right, it's it's a lot more nuanced than that. And again, Joseph is a great example for somebody who didn't look at what he was what society thought he should do. Right, he looked at a situation, prayed about it, and cut her off. Yes, you know, and and listen to what God spoke into his heart. Not everyone is meant to do what Joseph did. You have to look in word, listen to God speak to you, you know, pray, reflect, and and go where you feel like you are being called, and and where you're being guided, and and listen to one of our episodes on how to listen to God's word. Uh or or listen to God's voice if he's speaking to you. Yeah. If that confuses you, but that's where you don't don't do what everybody thinks you should do. Do what seems best in that moment and and um what you've reflected on, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

I think what's been helpful for us is like what is best for today.

SPEAKER_03 32:43

Yeah, that's also a good one.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Because every day is like so different, and I get so caught up in like, okay, well, I want to do this for her because it's gonna help her sleep better in a few months.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Like, okay, well, I can't control what happens in a few months, so let me like what is best for her right now, like today. And that's been a really hard thing for me to adjust to because I my motto has always been take care of future Katie.

SPEAKER_04 33:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

And you have always been like, take care of Katie today, and that is what we're shifting towards. Not that there's anything wrong. I mean, I love being a prepared girly, but I I'm I'm neglecting Katie in this moment.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

Well, and I mean, there's lots of scripture verses about, you know, why what don't hoard your treasure for tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Yeah, you know, you know tomorrow is not promised. But I also wanted to mention, like, on the flip side of providing, because you're talking about how fathers need to provide in a very unique way to their family. Like, if you get so caught up in like, okay, well, in order for me to provide, I need to make a bunch of money. Um, there are plenty of like millionaires out there who are providing the bare minimum to their family, but they think that they are, because they have like, well, I what else can I give you? I've got millions of dollars, use that. And it's like, well, that's not what I like, that's not what I need. So I don't know, there's so many different avenues to go down. And like the beautiful thing about all of it is if you're feeling restless, and this is I'm speaking for ourselves too. Like, if we ever feel restless or ever, if things just don't feel right, which have happened multiple times already in like in our five years of marriage, if things don't feel right, bring it to the Lord. And honestly, like you were talking about your funk yesterday. Yeah. And I was like, okay, this is different. Like, Joe doesn't usually get no funk. And as we do whenever we are in crisis, we start a novena.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

Oh, we forgot to last night.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

No, we didn't forget to last night. I brought it up this morning.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

Oh, I thought you brought it up last night.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

We're gonna start it today, and we're gonna do a novena to Saint Joseph. And that is like our usually like our 911 when things, you know, not this is the 911 emergency, but you should see the St.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Joseph ambulance pulling up to our house right now.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Anyways, so that was a good little I little wrap-up on like St. Joseph and like what he's meant to us. But quickly, just wanted to ask you a couple questions. Since

Fatherhood Fears And Surprises

SPEAKER_02 35:03

you have been a father now for eight months and Father's Day is coming up, um, how would you feel that Saint Joseph has been guiding you specifically in fatherhood and in marriage?

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Because he was a husband.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

He was also a husband. He was first a husband.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

I guess that's true. Um that's a good question. I think the um the patience that he probab and again, a lot of this is you know, reflecting on reflect you know, there's not a lot of scripture on him, so it's reflection on kind of reflections on him and probably the role that he provided. But um, he clearly must have been a patient man. And I think that that is something I try and and emulate from that is you know, in times of crisis, the family doesn't need someone else freaking out, they need someone who's willing to be patient and and walk with the family. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

So I definitely see patience in you for sure. Oh gosh, our girl's waking up.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

That's okay. She hasn't been asleep very long.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

No, she hasn't. She'll go back to sleep. Pray, guys, pray. Yeah. Okay. What are some fears, if any, that you feel like God has redirected?

SPEAKER_03 36:12

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 36:14

What does what mean?

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Like, what do you mean redirected?

SPEAKER_02 36:16

So, like, think about St. Joseph. Yeah. Right? Like he had fears of like marrying Mary and what that meant for her and having this child out of wedlock, like, and then God redirected it, and now we get to see that beautiful picture. Is there any has there been a moment where you felt like you could relate to that?

SPEAKER_03 36:35

I think my biggest fear was not actually with MJ. More so, like, I think I used to just be so afraid that like not how you would react as being a mom, but that it would be I know how badly you wanted to be a mom, and then I was worried, like, what would happen if it wasn't what I expected. Yeah. Yeah. And what God did beautifully was reassure me that uh I don't think it was what you expected, but it was better than what you expected. Yeah. And I think that like and I think what that did for me as a father is reassured that I can't let that fear of what could happen affect uh potentially good things. You know, like I shouldn't let fear of what if MJ struggles in school, right? Like well, she should still go to school and she should still like I can't let the fear of what if something bad happens? Or what if it what if there's disappointment or negative emotions? Like um, I think that's gonna c continue to be the hardest thing for me as a father is letting them suffer is a wrong word, but struggle and struggle, I feel like is a good thing. And be upset and be angry, you know, it's the same thing I had to learn as a husband.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Yeah. What are some ways that your role as being a husband or a father has surprised you?

SPEAKER_03 38:11

I don't know if I have one. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

You're waiting to be surprised.

SPEAKER_03 38:15

But I just I I don't know if I went in with like really any expectations. Yeah. I think well here's one. It was way harder than I thought. Okay. Um having 12 nieces and nephews beforehand. And I kind of like in uh it's similar to me how I thought about being in college, my first year in college. In high school, I spent a lot of time by myself, and I was pretty independent. My mom's very proud of this fact. Shout out, mom, for that. But I mean, I cooked in high school, I cooked a lot of my own meals. I uh when you know, when I was hungry, I did my own laundry. Um, I kept my own study schedule and grades and tests. Like, you know, my mom was never asking me, did I do my homework or anything like that? Like that was never asked. Right. Um, and so like I had kind of the beats and the rhythm down of like being a college student. And once you actually, once I actually got to Clemson my first year, it was so much harder. Not because you know, I couldn't do my own laundry, because I could. I knew how to do laundry, I knew how to cook myself a meal when I was hungry, but actually living in it and being in it was hard just because it's it's a big life change. Yeah. And I think being a father is the same thing. I knew how to change a diaper. I had been around screaming babies before. Yes, and I think that was a big change that surprised me was just how while I was prepared, I would say, it was still hard because I think no matter what, uh, Connor, this is a shout out for you. I wanted to say ultimately, but I didn't. So, Connor, this is a shout-out for you.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Connor gets a lot of shout outs.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

Well, because he he just gives me feedback. He's one of the few people that gives me constant feedback on the podcast. So I did not say ultimately there. But until you're living it, it's different. And the same thing with being a father. I thought I was truly prepared, but it is now our baby. She's the you know, when she's crying, because it's my baby, it hits differently.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Yeah, or your hormonal wife.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

Um, okay. Do you feel have you ever felt like hidden in the same way Saint Joseph is? And I find that funny because you are definitely the kind of guy that likes you like to talk, you like to make a bunch of attention. So do you feel like you've had to be hidden in a similar way as Saint Joseph?

SPEAKER_03 40:40

Um no, no. But I think that the role of a good father is always you mentioned that he put Mary on a on a pedestal, and I think that the role of a good father is always to elevate the family above himself. And while I like to be the center of attention, I do strive to elevate you and the family above myself to others.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

I feel like you do that really well.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

And I think that that can be hidden, but not actually what I can still be loud.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

And I think that's the the dirty little secret. Like you are you are loud. You are definitely like the one people hear from a mile away when we're like walking into church or whatever, walking up to the church.

SPEAKER_03 41:26

Whatever you were mad at me the other day, because I was talking downstairs and you thought I was gonna wake up MJ or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

Yeah, I was like, why are you so loud? You're literally downstairs. Oh no. Don't drop. That's terrible. Um yeah, but that's the dirty little secret is like you might hear Joe, but like really, who's in charge? You. MJ.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

MJ, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

Um, and then the last question. Okay. What are you asking for from Saint Joseph these days?

SPEAKER_03 42:00

I'll let you know at the end of the novena.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Ooh, I don't know. Ominous.

SPEAKER_03 42:04

Well, I I don't I haven't thought about it, to be candid. I haven't given it the thought I feel like it deserves.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Ominous, ominous.

SPEAKER_03 42:12

Yeah, so I'll let you know what I think uh Saint Joseph slash God is putting on my heart at the end of the novena.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Yeah, so if you want to join us, we're starting our St. Joseph Novena today and it'll be done in two days. What's today? Oh, right.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

So the it will be done by the time this airs. Yeah. I'll also put a link. Yeah.

Real Minor League Team Names

SPEAKER_02 42:33

Did you have a marriage meeting?

SPEAKER_03 42:35

Um, I do have I have an idea.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

Our baby is a flailing about Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

I think she was overtired. This is our our conversations, by the way, all right. Every day. What's the wake window? Um uh hang on, give me one second. So my marriage meeting is gonna be I want you to guess have I done this before? Real or fake minor league baseball team names.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

No.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Um so Katie knows I've been very into the Orioles this season, even though they're kind of bad. Um and I think that baseball's fun and it's kind of back. So give me three. Okay. So here, stall for two seconds while I actually look them up.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

Well, a good stalling topic. Okay. Since we're talking about her being overtired. I actually don't think she's overtired. I think she wasn't tired enough. I feel like she likes to play and like move around, and when we go to church, she just doesn't get to do that.

SPEAKER_03 43:30

Okay, that could be true. Okay. You ready? Yes. So here's one. The Spartan Burg. Spartan burgers.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Huh?

SPEAKER_03 43:44

Spartan Burgers is the city closest to us.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

The Spartan burgers?

SPEAKER_03 43:48

The Spartan burgers.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

I gotta say that that's so silly that it has to be true.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

It is real.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

The Montgomery Biscuits.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

I'm gonna go with true again.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

That is also true.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

What are these names?

SPEAKER_03 44:05

The Burlington sock puppets.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

That is also real.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

I would hate to be a sock puppet.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

Uh yeah, who wants to be the sock puppets?

SPEAKER_02 44:18

Um hang on, I'm trying to see if they're Are you just reading real names?

SPEAKER_03 44:24

Yeah, they're all real, actually. Um I just because I remembered, I was like, they're all so crazy. Like there's the Chihuahuas.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

That's real. Yeah, the Chihuahuas.

SPEAKER_03 44:36

I don't know what city the Chihuahuas are in. I can't see. Um Yep, the Spartan burgers, uh, the trash pandas.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

No, yeah, not the trash pandas. Not the trash pandas.

SPEAKER_03 44:48

The jumbo shrimp.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Oliver. Trash panda.

SPEAKER_03 44:51

Come here, trash panda. Come here, trash panda. He's slowly getting up. Well, there's our marriage meeting.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

That was all real.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

Those were all real.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

There were no wrong answers.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

No wrong

Closing Prayer And Share Request

SPEAKER_03 45:01

answers.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

Well, guys, thank you for joining in. We will be praying for you guys. Please. Keep praying for us.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

Oh, and this is our call to action. Oh, here you go. Katie doesn't like it. Uh, if you can share the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

If you shared, if you liked, if you followed, and just joined in on the journey officially. Yes. So that we can keep growing together. See ya. Bye, guys.