The Vine with Joe & Katie Devine
Welcome to "The Vine" with Joe and Katie Devine, where we embark on a journey through the twists and turns of life, love, and faith in our formative twenties. Join us as we candidly share our triumphs, trials, and everything in between, inviting you into our world of learning and growing together. Through heartfelt conversations, we navigate the complexities of marriage, relationships, and spirituality, reflecting on our missteps and milestones with humility and grace.
As branches of the same divine Vine, we embrace the power of community and the guidance of faith, aiming to inspire and uplift our listeners as we collectively journey toward greater understanding and connection. Welcome to a space where vulnerability meets wisdom and where, together, we discover the beauty of being intertwined in the vine of life.
The Vine with Joe & Katie Devine
Creating Our Family Mission Statement
What does it mean to build a family with intention? As we prepare for the arrival of our daughter, we're diving into the meaningful (and sometimes challenging) conversations about what we want our family to stand for and how we'll approach raising our children.
Creating a family mission statement might sound like corporate jargon, but we're discovering it's a powerful way to align our values and set a course for our growing family. Joe's concise statement centers on being "a welcoming Catholic family spreading the gospel by intentionally living out God's word," while Katie's more detailed version emphasizes that family extends beyond blood relations, the importance of building each other up, and moving heavenward together as a team. As we work toward a combined statement, we realize that perhaps "Love God, love your neighbor, love your family" captures the essence of what matters most.
Beyond our mission statement, we explore our current thinking on everything from education choices to dating rules, cell phone policies to picky eating struggles. We're discovering that while we have ideas now, we'll likely need what Joe calls "bespoke parenting" – tailoring our approach to fit each child's unique needs rather than applying blanket rules. The conversation reveals our hopes, fears, and the values we want to instill, all while acknowledging that our perspectives will evolve as we gain experience as parents.
Whether you're just starting your family journey or well into raising children, join us for this honest, lighthearted conversation about creating a blueprint for family life. We'd love to hear what guides your parenting journey.
An exclusive from Dery Media Podcasts. Explore diverse perspectives and enrich your knowledge at derymedia.com. Telling stories that matter, sparking meaningful discussions.
Hello, fam what.
Speaker 2:Hello fam. Look at you go, what is?
Speaker 1:it. I know that was 20.
Speaker 2:Like 2016?.
Speaker 1:Well, it was on par with our theme today. Oh, fam, family, we are family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, break it down. Hello everybody and welcome.
Speaker 1:I'm Katie.
Speaker 2:And I'm Joe.
Speaker 1:And welcome to the Vine this is a podcast. We are back with another episode.
Speaker 2:How many episodes have we done I?
Speaker 1:think this is 31. Wow.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:And we are getting more and more comfortable as the day goes, as the day goes, as the months pass on.
Speaker 2:I'm sitting here reclining Eternity waves by Paternity. Eternity.
Speaker 1:Eternity. I'm sitting here reclining on Joe's office chair because now I'm allowed to sit in the chair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're pregnant, so you get the office chair.
Speaker 1:And I am propping my legs up on a trash can.
Speaker 2:So this is where we're at. This is the tone, the mood. You're almost horizontal.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the vibe. So if you'd like to, you know, get comfortable, yeah, get comfy everybody. Grab some ice water, because that's all I really want these days, and it's true tune in, there you go perfect. Joe divine, what is your peak in pit?
Speaker 2:my peak, I would say is oh, peak is work. Work has actually been going pretty well lately. Um, they've been super supportive of you know you having a baby, um, which is nice on my end it's happening, whether or not they're supportive, that is true, but they are supportive, which is nice um, and then I would say my.
Speaker 2:So that's just a peak in the sense that I think, um, a, it's nice that they've been supportive and like I don't have to worry about, hey, you know what's going to happen. You know how can I take time off? Am I going to have to keep traveling as much, especially early on in the pregnancy? So that's really nice. The other thing is we have some irons in the fire, as they say, with some good opportunities for work, and I've been given some free range to go after those. So pretty excited about that.
Speaker 1:Irons in the fire making we're making pizza.
Speaker 2:Um, and then I would say the pit would just be um, and I'm sure you'll touch on this just maybe a little lack of sleep oh are we.
Speaker 1:Is this my fault?
Speaker 2:I wouldn wouldn't, no, I wouldn't say it's your fault. That's terrible I would never.
Speaker 1:It's got to be my fault.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say it's your fault. I'm definitely sleeping a little less.
Speaker 1:Yes, we can all relate. Well, I can relate. That's definitely my pit too. The reason I said it's my fault is because I literally just cannot get comfortable, and joe just wakes up every time I wake up, which is quite frequent. So I think that god's just preparing us for what life is about to look like yeah, I think that's very true uh but my pit pit, like my real pit was, I was so sick on friday, yeah friday you were pretty sick and and I was like tummy sick, which I feel like I only ever talk about here, you always have tummy
Speaker 1:issues. But it is so much worse now and I it's like sometimes tummy issues like go and come and go, you know, like they just resolve themselves and I was like, okay, well, I had a horrible night but maybe, like you know, I just need to get this yuck out of my system and I'm fine to go to work. Luckily we talked it through at like five o'clock in the morning and you were like just call out of work. And I hate calling out of work and I did.
Speaker 2:You've only done it what like three times or whatever Three times?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I just did, and good thing I did. I literally slept for like 12 hours that day and I was like well, I mean, the worst comes to worst, like maybe I'll feel better and I could just like sit here and watch like Netflix all day. Nope, watched one episode, slept all day.
Speaker 2:You basically slept from like you slept a couple hours that night off and on, and then you slept from about 9.
Speaker 1:Until 5, 15, 5, 30 which so clearly I couldn't was not in the position to work.
Speaker 1:You went back to sleep at like 7 30 oh yeah, and I had no, and then I slept so good that night like 7, 30 to like 8 in the morning the next morning I was so sick I don't know what it was, but I was down bad and we've just reached that point, like we had a discussion yesterday and basically just agreed that the next couple months I'm just gonna have to suck it up because my body's gonna get, it's not it's like it's only like six weeks, six weeks weeks, six or seven weeks 33 weeks, seven weeks.
Speaker 2:But it's not. Yeah, she said you have the baby in your 39th week.
Speaker 1:Okay Well, you just never actually know. So we're going to yeah. Two months at the very worst. True, I just going to have to suck it up.
Speaker 2:This is, this, is you know my body's doing great things. It is doing great things.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm trying to tell myself what was your peak.
Speaker 2:Oh right, what was good?
Speaker 1:My peak. We got the strollers this week.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did.
Speaker 1:And that was fun. It just made everything feel more real. I feel like we kind of panicked and got them because I was like if something happens, we need to at least have a stroller to take her home in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to take her home in um at the very least, and so we just kind of panicked and got them I wouldn't say we panicked.
Speaker 1:I panicked maybe we did a lot of research we did well, we knew what we wanted, but I was just kind of hoping people what that it would help be free it would not be so expensive um look alive but it's okay, we're here, that's done with and we've got um what. My last baby shower this saturday, so I don't know everything just feels more real and I feel like after crib is set up yeah, the nursery is pretty close to done kind of still waiting on a couple things, but I feel like after this weekend, after the last shower, I'll be able to really start nesting and getting things organized
Speaker 2:yes, nesting um, I also have another uh peak, not a pin, another peak. Uh, we cleaned out my office, which made me very happy oh, and he really really got it.
Speaker 1:Got to utilize it today yes, I, I did.
Speaker 2:That was great. What are you referencing?
Speaker 1:You playing your video games. I've been playing.
Speaker 2:I've played no more or less video games today than I did before the office was clean.
Speaker 1:I just find it so funny. Oh good, Now I can start playing with the boys.
Speaker 2:First of all, we never stop playing with the boys, I know, but now it feels clean in here. Well, it's like I also have meetings, I know, I know I'm teasing you, but I just find it so funny, you're right, you're right that's all I witnessed today that is true. You got home at like 4 45 and you've got your.
Speaker 1:I just know when you're like not a work mode anymore because you've got your headphones on your like knees are propped up on your office chair and you're like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, cheese, cheese, cheese. I'm like he is not working.
Speaker 2:On blast.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that was good. That was the last room. That was just kind of like a bunch of boxes everywhere. It was just we just had been putting it off and it was hard to like ignore it, because the office doors are glass or like windows, not windows yeah, they have glass in the doors glass, yeah, so you can't like walk by without noticing all the boxes, so we're we've been in this house officially a month that is, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've recorded, because today's the 25th right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is crazy. I feel like you know.
Speaker 2:When we get our fridge tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Fingers crossed, say a prayer.
Speaker 2:We are on the delivery cycle.
Speaker 1:Yes, say a prayer, but that'll be nice. So everything's coming together. We've been here for about a month and everything's just kind of starting to feel real. And so now we're just kind of in a place where we want to, I guess, start planning like our family, like what is that going to look like? And that's kind of what this episode's about, where we just kind of come together and I'm sure you've heard it before where families make like mission statements.
Speaker 2:Do families do this?
Speaker 1:It is a common thing. Yes, really, families do this and I honestly want to say we've touched on this before in a previous episode Before- we had.
Speaker 2:We made a mission statement for the podcast.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's what it was, because normally you do it for like. Like a business. Business or no, it's really common Families out there, maybe not in your realm. No, it's really common Families out there, maybe not in your realm?
Speaker 1:It's not really in my realm either I was about to say your family has a mission statement, that we don't have a mission statement. But I saw someone do it on Instagram and I was like that is a really lovely idea and I just love the idea of having like some kind of goal or purpose to like align your family with on like a daily basis.
Speaker 1:But we both kind of came up with our own mission statements. I don't know if we should go into the mission statement first or if we should kind of talk about because we also want to interweave like family expectations kind of how we think we want to raise kids, how we want to live our lifestyles and whatnot.
Speaker 2:And then get into that. Do the mission statement first, and then we can touch on on how those things tie back into our mission statement.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a great idea. Oh my gosh Do you guys like being a part of the planning process of our podcast.
Speaker 2:I told Katie, I was like next episode, next recording session, we're not going to actually record anything.
Speaker 1:We're just going to brainstorm. Maybe they like this, maybe they like being a part of it.
Speaker 2:That's true. You let us know, yeah, a. Maybe they like this, maybe they like being a part of it. That's true. You let us know, yeah, a million, well, not a million. A million comments would go crazy.
Speaker 1:I like it. I like it. Okay. So we'll start with our mission statements and then just kind of go into, like, the expectations that we have for our future, our family, for one another, our marriage and I don't know and kind of see what we think now and then, maybe in a few years, like readdress it and see how that's changed, because we also are very aware that things change and you have to be flexible and you've got to choose your battles All right.
Speaker 2:Do you want to go first with your mission statement?
Speaker 1:I don't know you go first.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll go first.
Speaker 1:You won't share yours with me. Wait, hold on, you go first okay, I'll go first.
Speaker 2:You won't share yours with me. Wait, hold on, let me reposition. Yeah, all right, katie's repositioning. We may have to adjust the mic volumes too okay, okay it only don't take about 50 minutes I won't do that okay, there you go, perfect um I. It's funny too.
Speaker 1:I'm like reading yours now I know mine's probably really lofty.
Speaker 2:That's why I wanted to see yours well and it's, it's, uh, like when you take business classes, all you do, like there's a whole class dedicated to like how do you make your mission statement in your business, and like how do you condense it down into one to two sentences?
Speaker 1:oh, it's yours.
Speaker 2:One to two sentences, yeah oops and katie's is, uh, a novel. Um, so this is going to sound somewhat familiar to you and to certain people in our lives, but my mission statement for our family is to be a welcoming catholic family. I mean, she's laughing. She literally laughed. I gotta wait for her to swallow her water. We are a welcoming catholic fan. Literally she's laughing at me.
Speaker 1:Sorry, why did you start it like that?
Speaker 2:Start it like what Start it like Father Longenecker's introduction to math? No, it's. Do you know what this is?
Speaker 1:This mission statement is Is this, our Lady of the Lakes? Bulletin.
Speaker 2:It's the yeah, but they say it at the beginning of every mass. But I amended it a little bit. Sorry, not Father Longenecker. The lakes bulletin one, it's the yeah, but they say that this at the beginning of every mess.
Speaker 1:But I amended it a little bit sorry, not father long necker, our old parish father, father dennis, and you're you're laughing at me well, because you just edited it, made it yours yeah, every that's what smart people do okay, continue. I'm sorry I'll let you, I won won't laugh.
Speaker 2:I can already see you laughing right now.
Speaker 1:We're a welcoming Catholic community.
Speaker 2:We are a welcoming Catholic family spreading the gospel by intentionally living out God's word.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's very generic In a good way. Sorry that came out so derogatory.
Speaker 2:Ew, I hate it, not for our family.
Speaker 1:That means nothing, I mean, I like how generic it is, because it can apply to literally everything. I like how basic it is, it can literally apply to everything. I guess I just wanted to be more specific about the things that, like the attributes that we wanted to have. Mine was in our family. We will honor and love God. We will welcome all into our home and as a part of our family.
Speaker 2:That's all. You get Two sentences. Okay, that's it. I'm kidding.
Speaker 1:To clarify family is not just blood. We will build each other up In the mission statement it's in there. I needed to clarify. We will build each other up and lovingly help one another grow. We will remain humble, knowing that everything we have is a gift. We will strive to see the best in one another and ourselves. We will treat our bodies and those we love with respect. We will always move heavenward as a team.
Speaker 2:Okay, katie, I have a very important question about your mission statement. Would you say that the things you listed are they? Some people would say that doing those things would be intentionally living out the gospel.
Speaker 1:Yes, they fall under your generic mission statement.
Speaker 2:Just wanted to clarify.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to clarify, okay, number one.
Speaker 2:That family is not just blood.
Speaker 1:I wanted to clarify we will honor and love God and that our family extends beyond this home.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I want an environment where we build each other up but also feel comfortable enough to call each other out, aka grow together, and I also don't want us to ever take anything we have for granted, like I want us always to remember that what we have is a gift, and that goes for both you and I and our children. Well, obviously, that's our family, yep, um. So I want us to be able to see the best in one another and ourselves, cause I feel like family, like your closest family, is the easiest to critique.
Speaker 2:Um, I wait, can I actually well hang on? You keep going, but I want to go back to that point okay.
Speaker 1:And then again, I also, I don't want it to be so focused on what we do for another. I want us to be able to give back to ourselves and respect ourselves and our bodies. And then, the last thing, it's the most important we are always moving forward, slash heavenward as a team, hand in hand, taking each other to heaven wow I'm just poetic. Did you have a?
Speaker 2:did you make a table of contents for that thing?
Speaker 1:I can, in case you want to section one.
Speaker 2:Um, no, I I first of all I really like yours and I think, well, let me get to my point that you talked about and then we can talk about the mission statements in general. I think this is a little bit of a sidebar. I think that family is the easiest to critique to yourself, but the hardest to actually like critique effectively. Okay, like, I think that, like you said, that family is the easiest to critique and I agree on that in the sense that, like me, as an individual, it's easiest to think critical thoughts to my family.
Speaker 2:I think it's family is the hardest people to actually provide honest and good feedback and critique to, because it's it's always taken with years of like like you, just know too much about it.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and so it's hard to not take it personal.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I think I mean maybe part of that is just natural, but I do, I don't want like an environment where we just like are scared to talk about you know the things we need to talk about and I think that we like together can hopefully like bring two different backgrounds and make that possible for our family.
Speaker 2:I think we can.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 2:I think that one, a big thread that's important through both of our mission statements is um being a welcoming family you mean a welcoming catholic community? Some would say it's a joke, because I always, I always that mission statement, I think is very cheesy, the one that I um copied, but I I think it's a good one. I agree, I think it's a good one.
Speaker 1:I agree, I think it is a good one and it covers literally everything I said. I just I think that in my head, like people do frame their family mission statements Okay, maybe not anyone, we know, but I know people do it.
Speaker 2:People, katie, seen on Instagram.
Speaker 1:And I feel like it is good. I mean especially with kids, like I want there to be specific things to reference to.
Speaker 2:I do like that. Something for them to like look back on, like, especially as they are three, four, five and they really begin critically thinking. Something for them to go back to is like does this align?
Speaker 1:With our mission statement.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, that sounds that's we can change're not no? No, you're not in the business world. So that jargon, yeah, like the idea of like can we align our family's goals to make sure we just circle back to?
Speaker 1:the family message? I don't know we can change, we can change the the actual, you know title it's just very businessy we are a business we are a business business but like I mean, if when mary jo is like five, seven years old, something around that, she's five, seven, she's five, seven.
Speaker 1:She'll be like the tallest person in her family but um, if she comes home one day and like we invite so and so over and s Sally's around her age and she's like Sally, I don't like Sally. I'll be like well, remember, let's look at it, let's let's reference back to our family message.
Speaker 2:OK, family reference. Back to the art.
Speaker 1:Let's walk over here to the hallway where we have the mission statement on the wall and remember that our family is not just blood. Thank you, mom, for clarifying.
Speaker 2:Yeah we're just gonna.
Speaker 1:We're giving our kids performance reviews, and we have to welcome sally into our home yes, in all seriousness, in all seriousness that is a very important thing to me and I I think, just because growing up in the culture that I did, family was like the most important thing, which I'm so grateful for. But now I think, being able to like grow up in that culture and then but actually grow up in the culture of the United States, I see how important that like the term family extending to your friends and into those that maybe you don't know as well but like feel the need to reach out to, like that that is family you know yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just always want to be welcome to that.
Speaker 2:I completely agree.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think the other piece, um, for both yours and mine that makes sense is intentionally living out the gospel. Um, and you go into detail, and this is not a joke. I'm glad that you put the things up there and I think those are good things to be thinking about again as we parent and as we kind of steer the ship of our family, but being intentional with what God actually teaches and what Jesus speaks about in the Gospels. And I think that again, you know we've touched on this many, many times in the podcast what Jesus teaches is not complicated to understand. It's hard to do and it's hard to execute, but it's not very complicated to understand. You know he says be a good person, don't let yourselves be ruled by riches, give to the poor. You know, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the sick, right. He tells us what to do and I think being intentional with doing those things in our family will bleed into the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1:In the world right, like we're all so bent out of shape about what we see on the news and, honestly, to the point that some of us get so triggered by it, like by, ultimately, the big things that are happening in the world that we just can't change. And although there are a lot of really awesome people out there who are working and making it their lives missions to change very important things about the world, most of us don't have access to that.
Speaker 2:Yes, very true.
Speaker 1:And I think that, like making that mission statement or whatever you want to call it, centering your family on a simple statement, to give you that sense of purpose, so that you all have a destination that your family is striving for and remaining by the principles that are most important to you, that is what changes the world. To quote Mother Teresa, if you want to change the world, go home and love your family.
Speaker 1:And it seems simple. It doesn't feel like enough, because when you're surrounded by so much of the media saying like you got to go to this protest, you got to do this, and we're not saying like don't do those things, but ultimately, how you change the world is you make world changers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I completely agree, and I think it starts with not to go back to goals and mission statements and business jargon, but it starts with a simple goal, right? The goal, you know, let's say the goal of Catholics right, would be, you know, putting an end to world hunger. Right, world hunger may not ever end, but that's a goal that we have to accomplish as a Catholic community. And the way that we can actually impact ending world hunger is going to our local soup kitchens and donating and working and, you know, making bag lunches and stuff like that Actual, real, tangible things that we can do in our community. That's how it starts, um, so I think to your point, like it's good and important and necessary to have those lofty goals of you know, ending world hunger, striving for world peace, but it begins, um, it begins on the small scale.
Speaker 1:Yeah, home and feed your family. That's a good start yep but um, but yeah, anyways that's, that's just something that's been on our minds because we are starting our family, but I don't know if you have any other thoughts um, I do.
Speaker 2:What's our combined mission statement?
Speaker 1:oh, do you want to do that now? I don don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean we're trying to find our mission statement right.
Speaker 1:We are. But I was thinking maybe we could talk through everything and then come back to it, unless you have, like, a template. I didn't really have a template.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, let's do it guys. This is real time. You're going to hear me.
Speaker 2:Are you going to type it away?
Speaker 1:should I not?
Speaker 2:no, go ahead I'm being serious, go ahead, okay do we want to condense it to three sentences?
Speaker 1:all right, three sentences okay, in our family we will why are you saying in our family? Okay, well, what do you all right?
Speaker 2:all right, say in our family okay, let's just talk before I type, okay, so I like in our family, we will love and honor god okay uh, maybe something about welcoming or catholic.
Speaker 1:Well, you know why don't we?
Speaker 2:here's what we're gonna do. Katie and I are gonna start our next podcast with our combined mission statement I don't think we'll be able to run this one on the fly. We have too much back and forth.
Speaker 1:We do, unless you want to listen to us. Yeah, we're gonna pray about this one we're gonna pray about it and we're gonna come back to you or it'll be in the description, like yeah, our final combined mission statement will be there for you to read and reference yeah although I think it would be fun for us to just sit here and fight about every sentence.
Speaker 2:I agree but I've been like, what are we going to do in the like while we're typing up in like the 30 seconds of dead time? Uh, you start singing and I filibuster I'll play some music non-copyrighted music okay, we'll have a combined mission statement, but I think both of our mission statements ultimately say the same thing I think so too.
Speaker 1:yeah, we'll just consolidate it and say the same thing. Okay, what do you too? Yeah, we'll just consolidate it and say the same thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, what do you think about this? Love God and love your family.
Speaker 1:Ooh, yes, I feel like that's a good mission statement for just the two of us, but, like I said, I do feel like with children.
Speaker 2:Love God, love your neighbor, love your family.
Speaker 1:I don't know, maybe I do like how concise that is too.
Speaker 2:Like that because ultimately, that is all that it is supposed to do and that's an easy thing for a kid to go back and reference, right. So if they push somebody down on the playground, are you loving your neighbor? Yeah, yeah, are your actions falling into one of those three buckets on the playground. Are you loving your neighbor? Yeah, yeah, did you? You know does. Are are your actions falling into one of those three buckets? And if they aren't, it probably isn't the best thing to do yeah, I could go with that.
Speaker 1:I'll have to.
Speaker 2:I'll have to marinate on it, but I do like that okay, we'll, we'll marinate on it, we'll put her in some soy sauce and I don't know what else garlic, yeah, some garlic, some pepper salt let it marinate. Okay, perfect, all righty so what were the, what were the questions you got? So the next piece of this is katie and I are going to talk about, like, what are some of our correct me if I'm wrong expectations on our family right?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I was just going to throw out some topics that you often have to discuss as parents and just kind of see where we're at right now we're probably like 30 minutes into it already, so maybe we'll just talk about five Sure Five different topics yeah, we'll see what they go.
Speaker 2:Go ahead, okay, let's talk.
Speaker 1:Let's chat school.
Speaker 2:Let's chat. Let's have a good chat.
Speaker 1:Let's chat school. What are we going to do about school? Let's talk about what we do.
Speaker 2:You want to know my gut reaction at the moment currently no.
Speaker 1:I want you to not tell me the honest truth. I think I'm still public school. Okay, public school for reference. We both went to public school. Yeah, and when?
Speaker 2:katie asked the question school it's where do we really see envision sending our kids to school?
Speaker 1:yes, we had a great experience at public school we really did and learned a lot of life lessons and I think that we both appreciated our background because we got to be around so many different people and like, still get a really good education, um. But recently we started helping out with a youth group at our lady of the rosary and they have their own little school there. It's a cute little private catholic school and I don't know, we've just both like loved the kids that we've helped out with. Apparently, joe's still public school, but there was a time that we were both like private school.
Speaker 2:It might be kind of nice yeah, I mean, I think also with that I mean of course financially, that's like the biggest thing is like yeah, I think that's coming in afford it that's what it'll come down to.
Speaker 2:I'm open to it yeah, I'm open to it as well. I used to be a hundred percent public school, zero percent catholic school and now I would say I'm probably like 60 40 public school. Yeah, um, I really, really like the idea of your education being centered around how, how it ties back into your faith and how faith is interwoven throughout your education, but something about just. I'm just a really big proponent of constantly being challenged, and not that your faith is not challenged in private school, because it certainly is. I think that the ways that your faith is challenged in public school, I think that the ways that your faith is challenged in public school, specifically in the South, as a Catholic, is really good for formation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so too. I think I just my biggest thing with public school was I felt like I could choose my faith, like freely.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I chose to go to youth group. I chose to grow in relationship with God, despite what all my other peers were doing, and it felt way more personal and intimate that way. So that's why I appreciated it. But after hanging out with those youth group kids and like seeing the intimacy that they have in their faith, I don't know, I was just like that seems really cool. Their faith, I don't know. I was just like that seems really cool. That like their whole education was, you know, surrounded by that 100.
Speaker 2:I I agree 110, but I also think like the idea that we know a lot of catholics who went to catholic school who no longer believe in anything well, and that's why I think we really liked this little school like I think I mean.
Speaker 1:I mean, true, I'm sure there are.
Speaker 2:So there's going to be plenty of those kids that sorry to the kids at youth group or to their parents, but like there's going to be a lot of kids in that youth group who stopped going to church and it has nothing to do with whether they went to a catholic school or not yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:And then I guess that brings me to like well, what are we like? Obviously we know how we're going to raise our kids in the faith, but like how, what are our thoughts on what they do afterwards? You know? Like when they're older yeah, like when they graduate high school, go to college, make their own, do own things.
Speaker 2:I don't think anybody has an answer to that question.
Speaker 1:I know, but it's just something I've wanted to think about because, like I think, to me it's so important to have that Catholic faith or that faith interwoven into their education because I want to do everything I can to make sure that they have been exposed to it, but then ultimately I really am at peace with whatever they decide.
Speaker 2:And I agree with that as an adult. And who am I to? You know this was. This was my defense of capitalism in one of my econ classes that I wrote who am I to judge what they do with their lives? If God does not force himself and his will onto them, why should I enforce my will onto our kids as well?
Speaker 1:yeah, ultimately, I think that's just our job as parents is to is to do our best to to shape them and mold them right but to not disagree with um, something you just said about.
Speaker 2:like you know, do everything we can to raise them in the faith. I would rather prepare them for the road ahead than prepare the road ahead for them, and I think that that comes with letting them be challenged in their faith. And I would rather them be challenged in their faith at 14, when they live under our house and I get to pay to feed them, and then when they're 21 and they're in college and it's the first real time that they've felt friction in their faith.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's very fair.
Speaker 2:But, all of this being said, I still really like the idea of sending them to Catholic school.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think that's what comes down to. It is like we're going to meet her and watch her grow.
Speaker 2:It's a great point.
Speaker 1:And when it's time to decide where she goes to school, then I do feel like God will give us like the piece of like. Okay, let's start here.
Speaker 2:And we should base it off of her, not off of.
Speaker 1:Not off of us what we think, yeah, and ultimately, we should have enough faith in our ability as parents to nurture that environment of faith at home.
Speaker 2:You know we have I forget who it was. We have a friend, I think, who they didn't. One of their siblings went to public school and one of them went to Catholic school, and it was just the one that. Yeah, the one that went to public school, really liked it and was thriving there, and the one that had a harder time at public school and they went to Catholic school and it was way better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like every child is different, and discerning each of those steps with and I think we do our bad job as parents if we only parent as a blanket strategy versus per child.
Speaker 1:Yeah for everyone. Yeah, absolutely. Which I feel like is going to be our answer to a lot of these topics is we'll just see what happens.
Speaker 2:Bespoke parenting.
Speaker 1:Is that what?
Speaker 2:it's called Bespoke is like individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Individuality, that's what we're doing Okay.
Speaker 1:Next topic Okay Dating.
Speaker 2:This is probably not a I'll let him date. I don't really care.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Maybe I'll feel differently, but I mean not at four but like no, that's the only time I'll let her date, but like I don't know If she's in seventh grade and somebody wants to take her to the movies and I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'll drive a little if a little seventh grader wants to take Mary Jo on a date. I will drive them, and I'll sit four rows behind them.
Speaker 1:You would, you would do that.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent. She would hate you, Okay, well she wants to go on a date and she can go on a date, but I'll be there or you'll be there. Actually, Allie will make Allie go.
Speaker 1:We're going to make Allie do it, because that's what we had to do. Ninang Allie, you have to watch. Will you take me?
Speaker 2:on a date.
Speaker 1:She'll probably be so much cooler than us Like in her eyes. I should be okay with that.
Speaker 2:But like that's the I had at least that's my take on it. What do you think?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I just feel like. I feel like the as I know, as we get older, and like the generations just keep evolving with what we're exposed to. Like before, like when I was in seventh grade and sixth grade like dating to to date, somebody in sixth grade was literally.
Speaker 1:We went as far as like sharing a hug in the hallway and planning it yeah but I just feel like nowadays, depending on where she goes to school and what she's surrounded by, I feel like it's they take it so much more seriously at such a younger age um, I probably.
Speaker 2:It's probably a little more present. There was a girl in my sixth grade class that got pregnant.
Speaker 1:Listen, there are plenty of. There's always outliers, okay.
Speaker 2:I think there's plenty of sixth graders when we were in sixth grade who were sharing a little more than hugs.
Speaker 1:I mean that's very true. I just, I just feel like the generations just keep getting more and more exposed to like their expectations of relationships and I mean, what are we watching Like the Summer, I Turned Pretty.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Literally getting married. I mean, they're sophomores in college.
Speaker 2:They're older than that. She's about to graduate, is she? I think so.
Speaker 1:Well, it all started when she was 16, right, something like that, this whole show, and they were just so serious and like, so adult about well, that's a show yeah, I know, but that's what the people are listening to like.
Speaker 1:That is what how these children are like forming their expectations of love and romance and I think that's what scares me most is not necessarily whether she goes to public school or private school. It's the things that she's exposed to and like that's what's defining her expectations of like reality and being a grown adult. You know, I'm just fair uh cell phone is that the next topic?
Speaker 2:that's my next topic I don't know I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm totally fine not giving her a cell phone for a little while what age? Hmm, I don't know what the right answer is yeah, I don't either like does she need one at all? Like she'll need one, I think, when she starts driving she's probably gonna have a cell phone before then right, but 16? I don't know. Some of those llr kids don't have one at all throughout high school. They don't even know their numbers their parents numbers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know that they don't have soft phones I kind of liked it I, I don't know. That's one I'd have to think on, but I'm not again, it depends, uh, what age do you think you'd let him stay home alone?
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't think I could stay home alone.
Speaker 2:She's half you, half me, though.
Speaker 1:I know, I know, I'm just saying, I'm just trying to think about when I was allowed to stay at home alone and I feel like I wasn't until, like I was in high school.
Speaker 2:I think it was after we got married.
Speaker 1:Yes, I wasn't even allowed to drive anywhere until really until I.
Speaker 2:well, I'm sure I was a lot I was a junior year when I had a car which was not until junior year you used to drive the, the old mercedes oh, in high school yeah but I still couldn't really go anywhere, like I couldn't even really go to your house, like that was just to school and back but yeah, the question is when can she stay home?
Speaker 2:I know sorry, I'm reflecting on my childhood um gosh, I'm thinking, like you know, maybe 10, 11, we go out for like, not a. Not we go out to dinner, but like no 10 is like a baby we were just watching the little league world series and they were all babies.
Speaker 1:They were sobbing when they lost, but they're 12 babies maybe, I think, 12, 13, second or third grade 12 or 13. What's wrong with that?
Speaker 2:that feels old, that feels young I think it's older than you think 12 or 13? That's my final answer I think like 10 or 11 10 10 is too young to me 10 is not too young 10. I was still crying, alone in the dark well, that says more about you in general, when the.
Speaker 1:How old were you when, like, the power went out? I?
Speaker 2:think I was in second or third grade.
Speaker 1:I would just feel so bad if our child was alone, guess what it was a good learning moment for me. I just think that you were the last child and that's how that happened. That's probably a piece of it but I don't know. Can we hear?
Speaker 2:Lucy's breathing in the background. She's whining in her sleep.
Speaker 1:She yeah all right, give us one more um, if you have it, hold on one more she don't got it. I didn't have one, I wasn't ready. Hold on, do you have one?
Speaker 2:nope, cell phones was my here. I'll go one more. What if they're a picky eater?
Speaker 1:Ooh, picky eater. I think we're going to have to work on that.
Speaker 2:You can, you can try, you can try. Sometimes they're really stubborn. I my mom would I mean she'll tell you the horror stories, but I would literally take a bite of grilled chicken and would weep, and I'm too old to be doing this too. It's probably around the same time as I'm staying home alone by myself. And I would gag and then go spit it up in the toilet, a bite of grilled chicken. So dramatic.
Speaker 1:I swear, if she turns out to be like that I mean picky eater, it is what it is right Like. I know that there's nothing I could do about that, but I'm going to try really hard to expose her. I mean, listen, we're eating all the foods now and I'm pregnant. Hopefully that'll help, hopefully. But we're going gonna try our hardest to expose her to all the different foods and then if that doesn't, you know, if that doesn't work, it is as long as she's eating. That's, that's all.
Speaker 1:That's the goal that's the most important thing um all right, so good talk, by the way I feel like there's so much more, actually, that I want to talk about I'm sure we'll get there there's going to be a lot more, I think, discussions, and I'm really excited for I don't know, I'm like nervous excited for like the growth that we're about to yeah encounter.
Speaker 1:I just feel like we've gotten so used to our little dynamic as just me and you like literally just the other day we were just today we were talking about how I need to start cooking more, not because I'm a woman or anything like that, but just because I've gotten so reliant on Joe. Like, joe is still a picky eater and whatever he likes I will always eat, but what I like he does not always eat, and so it's just easier for him to cook for us. But just realizing it might not be feasible to always rely on you to cook for a whole family every single night.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to have to start chipping in Just little conversations like that. I'm like wow, we're really changing things up here and I don't know we are. I don't know how to handle it and also I'm excited to revisit these topics in a few years and see like okay, what actually happened? Did we send them to private school? Did they go to public school? How did it go? What are our thoughts? We'll figure it out but we're gonna figure it out, and that's the beauty of all this.
Speaker 1:We're just growing and figuring out what's best for us and hoping that, hoping that it glorifies god man lucy's really snoring I hope you can hear her.
Speaker 2:Um, I've got a marriage meeting for you. It's a quick one, okay? Uh, college football season starts oh no on saturday we were talking about it football season's gearing up very important time, especially for myself and a few of my friends, um, so I wanted to quiz your knowledge on, uh, football mascots this is not gonna be good so these are the, the, the yeah, you know what a mascot is I do know okay all right. So this here's. I'm gonna give you two gimmies clemson tigers south carolina game cocks.
Speaker 2:Do you know what a game cock is? It is a, not a chicken pretty much it's the male version of a chicken yeah, I mean yeah, it's just like a fighting chicken.
Speaker 1:Okay, um texas a bear no I don't know they're the Longhorns. Ah, darn, north Carolina, I can see them.
Speaker 2:I don't know what they're called.
Speaker 1:They're blue right, they are blue Tar Heels.
Speaker 2:Good job.
Speaker 1:Well done. Yes, I knew that one.
Speaker 2:Ohio State. They look like bumblebees to me would you know what color ohio state is? What color?
Speaker 1:is it red?
Speaker 2:okay, I'm gonna. You're very close. Bumblebees they. The guy does kind of look like a bumblebee he looks like a bug he does kind of look like a bug, but he's not. It's a it's actually.
Speaker 1:Tell me what is it. What can you give me the category?
Speaker 2:It's actually like a. I think it's like a fruit or a nut.
Speaker 1:Okay, then I have no idea.
Speaker 2:They're called the Buckeyes.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that sounds familiar. I would not. It's like a treat or something, I don't really know I would have never gotten there I just know they're the Buckeyes.
Speaker 2:You did pretty well.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:You want one more? Yeah, let me think of a good one for you, I know this, I know Dallas. Okay, good Cowboys, that's not a college, that's a professional team. I'm trying to think of oh Florida.
Speaker 1:Florida. I'm thinking NFL again. I want to say Jaguars.
Speaker 2:Yep, you're thinking NFL again. Trevor Lawrence, I don't know the Gators. The Gators Okay here, let me give you one more. Let me give you one more, georgia.
Speaker 1:Georgia we got.
Speaker 2:Georgia in the family.
Speaker 1:I know, georgia, georgia, georgia, georgia.
Speaker 2:Okay, just keep saying it. Are you thinking of the fight song from Jack and the Lions?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm trying to think of it. What are they? Don't tell me. Don't tell me. I feel like I'm going to get so much hate for this.
Speaker 2:I'll give you a hint it's four legs.
Speaker 1:Four legs.
Speaker 2:They have a hard time breathing.
Speaker 1:Bulldogs Yep.
Speaker 2:Alabama.
Speaker 1:Alabama bulldogs alabama, alabama. John cross will be very mad at you, I know. I just alabama.
Speaker 2:It's kind of not fair. Their mascot is terrible roll roll tide, so the tide is. Their is half of their mascot surfersers. No, it's hard, it's the Crimson Tide.
Speaker 1:I was never, never going to guess that. So is the mascot, just like a wave.
Speaker 2:No, it's an elephant. It's an elephant yeah, but he's a Crimson Tide. He's the Crimson Tide. Listen, they have bad mascot down there. They're good at football, but they got bad mascot.
Speaker 1:Why are they not just the elephants?
Speaker 2:Well, the Alabama elephants Kind of lame.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I've been cackling in the mic all night. You have been cackling.
Speaker 2:You peep the mic like every time. We did our testing and Katie was like so quiet, she was leaned far away and then now she's like gotten closer and she'll cackle into the mic.
Speaker 1:Now so quiet she was leaned far away and then now she's like gotten closer and she'll cackle into the mic. No, I gotta stop, okay, all right, well, good podcast, yes thanks for listening, um, thanks for being a part of it and helping us, you know, come up with what we wanted to talk about absolutely, but we can't wait to chat again and, as always, always let's keep growing together.
Speaker 2:Bye y'all, I'm going to make a Thank you.