The Vine with Joe & Katie Devine
As branches of the same divine Vine, we embrace the power of community and the guidance of faith, aiming to inspire and uplift our listeners as we collectively journey toward greater understanding and connection. Welcome to a space where vulnerability meets wisdom and where, together, we discover the beauty of being intertwined in the vine of life.
The Vine with Joe & Katie Devine
'Til Debt Do Us Part: Let's Talk About the Money, Money, Money
Money talks often lead to money fights—especially when a dedicated saver marries an enthusiastic spender. We're pulling back the curtain on our financial journey, revealing how our drastically different money mindsets have clashed, compromised, and ultimately created a stronger partnership.
Katie grew up viewing money as something to protect and preserve, carefully saving birthday money and living with a scarcity mindset. Meanwhile, Joe approached finances with a "you can always earn more" attitude, finding joy in spending freely and worrying about tomorrow...well, tomorrow. Our house-buying journey has forced us to confront these differences head-on as we navigate one of life's biggest financial decisions.
This episode explores how our upbringings shaped our financial perspectives, from Katie never filling her gas tank completely (just enough to get by!) to Joe viewing career choices primarily through the lens of providing for family. We discuss the spiritual dimensions of money management, sharing how faith communities have supported us and others during tight seasons, and why prosperity isn't measured by account balances.
You'll hear practical advice about investing early, seeking financial guidance, and finding the delicate balance between saving for tomorrow and living fully today. We even reveal our top three spending categories (hello, Amazon addiction) and get vulnerable about our money mistakes. The conversation raises important questions about what it truly means to be "rich"—is it having wealth, family, purpose, or something else entirely?
Whether you're struggling with a partner who views money differently, wondering how to approach retirement planning, or simply curious about how others handle their finances, this honest conversation offers both practical wisdom and permission to talk more openly about one of life's most taboo topics. Let's start normalizing these discussions—your financial wellness depends on it.
Our Financial Planner: https://blackbridgefinancial.com/
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What up?
Speaker 2:Hello.
Speaker 1:Hello.
Speaker 2:Welcome back everyone.
Speaker 1:It's us, it's a Monday that we have dropped a podcast. Oh, I was like it is not Monday.
Speaker 2:No, currently it is. Friday night, friday night, living it big, living it up.
Speaker 1:Yes, we are, I'm Katie.
Speaker 2:And I'm Joe.
Speaker 1:And welcome to the Vine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, welcome back back everybody. We're super happy to have you happy, lent happy lent. Yeah, we have, we released. Yeah, we've had an episode, we've had two episodes yeah, I definitely knew that.
Speaker 1:I knew that. So, as long as one of us knows that, yeah, that's what's important well, yeah, happy lent.
Speaker 2:No, remember what priests were. Was there a homily that we were listening to? He was like nobody ever wishes you a happy lent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was the british priest, the one.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yes, you're right. And he was like why don't we wish each other a happy lent?
Speaker 1:I don't remember't remember what he said, though, to be honest, I do remember him saying that it was a good homily.
Speaker 2:It was one of those ones where all of his content was really good. It was just a little long.
Speaker 2:It was a little bit long-winded, but I didn't mind because he had a cool accent, yeah yeah, it was fun to listen to him talk, but I think he was just saying, like, we associate lent with the penitent, the penitential, you know side of things, which is correct, but he was saying like it's also a time of, it should be a time of. I don't know if excitement's the right word, but, like you, should want somebody to have a fulfilling lent and a happy lent yeah, yeah, I totally agree uh, katie, what was your pit and peak this week?
Speaker 1:You know, I always forget to think about that.
Speaker 2:I know, and this is like episode 20 or whatever, I know.
Speaker 1:Okay, and I.
Speaker 2:Would you like me to go first? No, no, no.
Speaker 1:There's a couple of things.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1:There's a couple of things I want to point out. We have missed talking about these things that have been really, really key things that have happened in our lives.
Speaker 2:Okay, Okay so.
Speaker 1:I've got a couple of peaks. Okay, we shared that we bought a house last week.
Speaker 2:Yes, last time we had an episode. We're under contract.
Speaker 1:We're under contract, so things are still in the works. We just listed our home literally 30 minutes ago.
Speaker 2:Yep Shout out to Mom and Nicoleicole trinity realty group.
Speaker 1:They did amazing amazing work you need anybody to help list your home or buy a home. They've got you that's right um, and it was bittersweet. I was literally crying, putting like taking out all the photos in our house and it was just, it was sad, it was feels empty it does, it feels empty um.
Speaker 2:So that was kind of our house has never been cleaner oh yeah, we hired a lady to clean.
Speaker 1:She did amazing. I don't know why we've never done that before. Um yeah, so that was like a pit, in the sense that it was just sentimental, and it made me realize how happy and like appreciative I was of this home.
Speaker 2:And then Peak also oh, she's going to cry right now.
Speaker 1:I'm about to cry slash. I'm really winded. For some reason, I'm just sitting here. Sorry if I'm breathing into your ear.
Speaker 2:Is that a golden retriever in my ear? No, that's just Katie.
Speaker 1:If I speak more than three sentences I get really winded. Anyways, peak we did list our home and that feels like a big milestone and I'm just excited and nervous to see, kind of, how the market responds to it. Um, okay, couple other peaks that I have failed to mention, that are pretty big things okay um. Joe spoke at one of our favorite conferences, DYC.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did.
Speaker 1:Sadly, we did not do it together. I would so much rather do things together.
Speaker 2:Well, that's one of us.
Speaker 1:We spread our wings and did our own different workshops and that was fun. I think we always forget how much we love helping out with the diocese.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we really do, going back to our roots, we really really do.
Speaker 1:Even if it's just for one little workshop. It just was so like special to number one be included and then also to just like get a little taste of you know what we grew up with and like what created us.
Speaker 2:In the best way possible. It's like every year, and some people will hear this and be like ew, but this is how I view it, like I feel like every year when we go back to dyc, it's like a high school reunion, like I get to see so many people that you know it's the only time I see them every year and it's fun to catch up with them and it's people who I've known for a long time and like I like that it's so fun.
Speaker 1:And then also remember a few months ago when I said I wanted to run a half marathon. Yes, of course I remember that, and then you said you just got to do it.
Speaker 2:I said that on the podcast.
Speaker 1:You did. You're like, you just got to do it at this point.
Speaker 2:Nice Good for me.
Speaker 1:And guess what?
Speaker 2:You ran it.
Speaker 1:She did it, that's right right she had a 15 minute mile.
Speaker 2:No, it was 14, it was five minutes.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, I wasn't, we were not, we were not.
Speaker 1:We're not trying to be speedsters over here you were fast though I was faster than I normally did like do, because I was running with a friend who, kind of you know, forced me to go faster than I normally did like do, because I was running with a friend who, kind of you know, forced me to go faster than I wanted to. But it's okay. I mean, because of her I finished the race and I didn't have to do it alone and it was honestly so much fun. I don't know why I was so nervous to do these in the past.
Speaker 1:Well, I do know why, but that that did not happen yeah good and it was so much fun and I am just really proud of myself and I'm really grateful for Katie who I ran it with. We worked together.
Speaker 2:The two Katies.
Speaker 1:We trained for like since December, I want to say, and so we'd run like every Saturday together, and it was something I really looked forward to.
Speaker 2:And it was really nice too, because I was worried for a little while that I would have to become the running partner, and Katie saved me from that fate, and it was so much better than having you. I have just been so thankful for her to do that. So shout out to Katie.
Speaker 1:Yes, so it was like the double Katie team running this race. We even wore like matching outfits. It was fun. It was Team Katieie, so that was super fun and I think I cheered you on you did.
Speaker 2:You were my only um I was your only fan, my only fan.
Speaker 1:So it was fun seeing you at the six mile mark and then saw you at the end. It was fun, it was just like such a good vibe I've never. It was really cool I've never been a part of something like that, because I I am not an athlete, so I don't know what it's like to be like cheered for, so it was so fun.
Speaker 1:Like these random strangers just get so hype about you running this race. I have no idea who you are and they're just like yeah, you can do it, and it's just there were a ton of people there dance party.
Speaker 2:What marathon did you run just for the people?
Speaker 1:um, not a marathon, half marathon what half marathon did you run? I would never do that um she says it was that myrtle beach so and we also hadn't been in myrtle beach for a lot like I don't remember the last time I went to myrtle beach, so it was honestly it was fun. Like I don't know why I remembered myrtle beach being so like dirty well dirty myrtle yeah, well, and I just vividly remember it being it that way.
Speaker 2:But I think we were in a nice spot.
Speaker 1:It wasn't very touristy yeah, the run, like the run, had really good views, so we ran by the beach. It was so fun yeah, so that's awesome, that's my big update that I have about your pit to mention, my pit was taking down all the pictures in our house.
Speaker 2:I shared that already oh, I didn't realize you.
Speaker 1:Just I didn't know, I kind of skimmed past it, but that was truly a pit.
Speaker 2:It was very sad doing all that well, and it was even sadder because I was gone and I was hanging out with friends and you were doing it, so you literally texted me.
Speaker 1:uh, you're like, I'm not sad, which is likeantly I'm not going to call you about how sad I am, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean which to be fair? You didn't.
Speaker 1:I just needed to tell you that I was fighting the urge.
Speaker 2:I just want you to know how unhappy I am right now. Do whatever you want with this information.
Speaker 1:It was so sad yeah.
Speaker 2:I did not call you. I had to hide all the pictures. Huh.
Speaker 1:I had to hide all the pictures.
Speaker 2:They're just like stacked in the garage. Okay, they're in the garage, yeah or hid it under like blankets in our there's. We're just. There are so many things shoved in closets and corners to make the house look more appealing I don't know how people like.
Speaker 1:Okay, so our friends daniel and angel, you know yes still praying. Well, I guess I don know, did they get it or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:They're moving here for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so. They're closing dates and stuff.
Speaker 1:We're having this conversation while everyone's listening, but they're moving here pretty sure, and I don't know how people list their house and live in it at the same time. This is so hard, as Daniel said. When we asked him, he said stressfully like always maintaining your house.
Speaker 2:It's tough people. Yeah, uh, I will say that for my uh. Did you hear me? Yes, katie, both of them, both of them sorry, I was trying, I think.
Speaker 1:I think you've got it like really high, so we can't totally turn it down just a little bit. I can't hide from the mic.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, sorry if katie continues to drink loudly and just ruin everybody's podcast. 10 minutes of recording down the drain. Um, so my peak and I have to ask myself. She's not even asking me, she's just too busy drinking water um, I would say, now I gotta turn you back up.
Speaker 2:Um, I would say my peak is getting the house listed and that's also my pit actually. No, I'm gonna switch it up a little bit. My peak is, uh, last night in. I was in charleston for work, but I have a bunch of friends who live in charleston and I was able to hang out with them last night and that was a lot of fun. And I think it just reminds me, like when I hang out with whether it's friends from high school, friends from college, friends that we've made in Greenville I just feel like every time I'm with them, it kind of puts on my heart that like I want to keep these friendships you know and like, not just like when you're really friends with somebody, sure, like you cannot see them for two years and then just pick right back up and like where you left off, and that's awesome. But I think what I'm realizing, especially as I'm getting a little bit older, is like I want to continuously pour into these friendships. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I want that, like I want to feel like they know who I am and I know who they are, especially as we've continued to get older. Yeah, so I'd say that is a peak for me. That was a lot of fun. My pit is getting the house ready to sell was terrible.
Speaker 2:We were at each other's necks this weekend yeah, we were, we were definitely oh, doggie sorry, there's an intruder apparently yeah, um, but they're, yeah, they're getting, they're walking into the house right now. No, it's somebody trying to buy the house, katie oh, let's hope so, um welcome but they. It was just like we had to replace trim that was broken. We had to paint, we had to. I'm trying to think of like all the other things we had to do.
Speaker 2:It was like, oh and that, yep, that was not the best. Katie's currently trying to calm the dogs down and is making more noise. We are back, everybody. Thank you for handling that brief intermission where, uh, katie was talking to a man trying to clean our house for us I, I, yeah, I failed.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't have gotten up. The dogs went absolutely crazy and then someone tried to sell me their cleaning services. So I should just you know. Moral of the story, don't?
Speaker 1:answer your door don't answer the door it's not for anything good, they just want to sell you solar panels man or cleaning services or I answered the door and I was like clearly struggling because the dogs are trying to like break free, yeah they're trying to murder him and so I'm like looking at him through like the crack of the door and he goes. So are you the queen of this household? Yeah, you are I'm so caught off guard. I was like, yeah, I am, I am the queen. Should we invite him on the podcast? Yeah, you.
Speaker 2:You should have said hey, we're recording right now. You want to hop in man?
Speaker 1:I mean, it was kind of rude for you to knock on the door, but why don't you just be our guest?
Speaker 2:Hang on Also to be clear, it is 8.06 on a Friday night.
Speaker 1:I honestly, I mean the hustle is real. I thought it was a neighbor.
Speaker 2:I was like something is wrong.
Speaker 1:That's true or it's like he saw the house on zillow and wants to know what's up. Um so sorry guys.
Speaker 2:Yes, that was kind of fun so, uh, I can't remember exactly where we left off, but yes, my pit was just all the amount of stuff that we had that is like it's not actual trash but essentially is just trash. That was just in drawers and cabinets and like it's just.
Speaker 1:It's amazing to me how much nonsense we live with well, and I like to think we do a pretty good job of keeping the house clean yeah and. But here's where we like struggle, is we? I like, we don't like clutter, but we don't like getting rid of the clutter, and so what? I do is I hide the clutter in baskets. So many baskets deep into into closets, like far in the back of closets, and so cleaning this weekend was a nightmare finding all the clutter that I've been hiding for years yes, so.
Speaker 2:So that was our peek and pit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for that very long life update. We're glad you joined just for that segment.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it ties into kind of our theme and topic for today a little bit as far as like buying a new house and everything. And so our topic for today and it's definitely a sensitive one Katie has had to cajole me into it a couple times and convince me of it and I agree with her. I think it's really an important topic and I think that having honest conversations about it are really important and the topic is Katie.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't really come up with a fun title yet, okay.
Speaker 2:Money. Money, something along those lines Money, money, money, money, money money where is my money? Is that the lyric?
Speaker 1:no, but I want to know where it went. Where did it?
Speaker 2:go. It's all gone. It's all gone to lucy's doggy school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is definitely a sensitive subject. I don't feel like people like to talk about it that much. I don't like to talk about it, let alone talk about it with the world. But I think that since we've been in the process of buying a house and selling our home, this has been at the forefront of our minds and it's a valid thing to consider when you are making such a big investment. And we have consoled just about every mentor, parent, adult, friend that you can think about when we've been making these decisions. And it made me appreciate, you know, like, the people we had to rely on and the support that we had, and it also made me realize just how much this is the conversation that, like you, do want to have with people, and it is can be a very fruitful conversation. It does not have to be a place of judgment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it um, ultimately it's inescapable right like for how we live our lives in 2025. You know, like money is just, it's there. You know like you work for a reason, for you know there are some people who would work for free because they love their job so much, but for most average people, you're working, but for most average people, you're working to get money. You know, and you're working to get money because you got to know how to spend it and where to spend it and why. And I think that because there's so many stigmas around you know how much you make and you know being, you know so many stigmas around, whether you're rich or poor. You know both good and bad things that I think people again just get scared to talk about it. When again, it's like this elephant in the room where you have to talk about it at some point with people, you know like it's simply stuff that comes up.
Speaker 2:And so I think Katie had a good idea and I think it's we're just going to talk through like our journey of how figuring out our finances, yeah like figuring out our finances, what we did, whether we think it worked or not, like what our background was with, like how we like I think one of the biggest things that was different for us in our marriage was how we viewed money, especially initially on. So I think we'll just talk about it a little bit and again, this isn't meant to be, um a podcast about judgment. It's more so, if anything, just kind of our story with how you know, um our relationship with with money has gone and hopefully it can provide at least a little bit of insight to some people.
Speaker 1:This is not at all a professional advice podcast on money. We have absolutely no experience.
Speaker 2:We have a financial planner.
Speaker 1:We have someone, a friend of ours, that does it for us.
Speaker 2:They're a married couple. Guess what their names are.
Speaker 1:Only the best names out there.
Speaker 2:Joe and Katie. That was good. Katie's really happy that we did that at the same time.
Speaker 1:This is not advice. I just want to make that clear. This is our experience. This is what has worked for us and what's not working for us and what we wish we did better, and I think that that's where people learn the most. Like that's where we've learned the most, just talking to, like, couples that are friends of ours, that are a little bit older than us, that have said, like, wow, I really wish I put this much more in retirement, like, oh cool, well, I, I'm gonna do that, since you wish you did yeah like, and that's what they want for you like.
Speaker 1:That's what we want for you is to learn from our mistakes and what, whatever, whatever that may look like.
Speaker 2:So so, katie, what, how would you say we were different in our views on money, especially like from, like you can call it, like growing up or the uh, you know, when we first got married, like how was it kind of different.
Speaker 1:I feel like we've. I've always had the mindset of I'm never going to have enough money, even if I had like hundreds of dollars in my savings account, which at the time hundreds of dollars. I'm thinking of high school. Okay, so in high school I was a big saver, like any kind of birthday money or anything like that.
Speaker 2:I would put it in my let's put a venmo for us right now.
Speaker 1:So like I would save up like 500 for like in a year or something like that, I would not spend it like I would not, and I would truly act and complain and say I had no money, like I couldn't spend it, whereas something that shocked me when we started dating you maybe made like $50 one night working at Publix.
Speaker 2:And that's right, that's right.
Speaker 1:All right, let's go to a fancy dinner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fancy dinner Strong, where can?
Speaker 1:we go with 50 buck beefo brady's did we go to beefo brady's one time?
Speaker 1:I'm sure I feel like we did so like yeah, and you would spend all 50 I was not a saver yeah, and you made me feel like I could get anything I wanted yes even if you were secretly messaging your mom being like, hey, can you transfer me like 20 dollars, which I did on my first date with you, on our first, our first date well, and you know it's funny, you say that too, because I always had a job in high school.
Speaker 2:So, like one of the things my parents were really big on was, um, like we don't just get things, like we didn't just get a lot of things. Growing up, like I'll never forget, I have this very vivid memory of one of my best friends growing up and he got Pokemon XD, gale of Darkness, and he got it. And I don't even I think he just got it. I don't know what it was or how he got it. Maybe he even had money and that's what he spent it on. I don't know. Well, don't know what it was or how he got it. Maybe he even had money and that's what he spent it on. I don't know. Well, he listens to this podcast, so you might as well call him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was connor, and hi connor, hi connor. And uh, I told my mom I was like I want this game and she's like, well, you got to wait for christmas or your birthday. And it was like eight months away. And I was like, mom, I can't wait for christmas, for my birthday, for this game. Like it'll be, it's like I need it now. And she was like well, you're out of luck, man. Like you got to figure something out, like go figure out a way to make money or something, um, and that's why, like we always growing up, if we didn't play a sport we had to have a job so like we didn't get an allowance and we didn't get like gas money, like we had to, like a lot of that was earned for us where I was finding interesting, interesting.
Speaker 2:It was like you didn't have a job growing up.
Speaker 1:No, my family really wanted us to be like super focused on school.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, I don't know, I don't think that was a cultural thing, I think it was just like no distractions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no distractions, focus on school, be a nurse Go to medical school. Everyone is nurse.
Speaker 1:All nurses, or go to medical school. Everyone is nurse, all nurses only. Um, yeah, no, I I never felt the pressure to like do something other than school and I really don't know if I like, mentally, could have done that I wasn't very good at multitasking, but I think it would have been nice to have a job just to like.
Speaker 2:I have like little jobs here and there, but nothing like study like you did yeah, but it would have been nice just to like get a better steady, get a consistent like I didn't have like little jobs here and there but nothing like study like you did. Yeah, but it would have been nice just to like get a better Public study.
Speaker 1:Get a consistent, like I didn't have like a schedule. It was like working at summer camps or stuff like that. But it would have been nice to understand what it meant to balance work and like school and life and budgeting like what that actually looked like, instead of like hoarding all of my Christmas money.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and I think you know it's interesting because growing up you know you, you weren't working, you didn't have active income, that's why you were saving, because you're like I don't know where I'm gonna get, yeah, get more, and for me I think it was like oh, like, I'll just work a little bit more if I want more money. I mean, I literally did not start saving until I graduated college.
Speaker 1:Yeah not even really then. It wasn't until we got married.
Speaker 2:I feel like Well, I had to save to buy your engagement ring, yeah, but you nearly spent all of your money. No, I didn't nearly. I spent all of my savings Like I saved up, and shout out to my sister, who a lot of Katie's on the podcast today, my sister Katieie, who let me live with them, her and her family, like that was. But for me my mindset was always I wanted to spend my money because I wanted to enjoy your life, yeah, and yeah, which was awesome.
Speaker 2:but also I look now at some of my friends who were even just a little bit more prudent when they were in college and it's a snowball effect and like I think that's one of the biggest things I've taken away from. You know, like trying to get a better handle on our finances, especially after we got married, was like the more you do for yourself now is so much better in the long run.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's always been like my motto, like take care of future, katie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I like to take care of now, joe.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think there's a lot of pros to both you know.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like the way that we grew up, the way that we viewed money, the way that our parents, you know, surrounded us with what that looked like. Um, we're not necessarily the wrong or the right way, like it created, true, created who we are today, and I think that's why it's so nice that we came together and brought very differing points of views yes and are trying slowly to find like a happy medium, like I think I do have a over, like I'm a little bit too extra when it comes to saving, like I will and you know this like sometimes when we get paid, I will transfer 70% of our paychecks.
Speaker 2:And I'm like we have to live. Katie, Like I know it's nice to like have it in savings.
Speaker 1:Like we literally need to pay the bills and I'm like, yeah, but what if we can't pay next month's bills?
Speaker 2:I'm like this month's bills need to be paid.
Speaker 1:Well, and the?
Speaker 2:other thing like I and I say this all the time and I recognize that this is not a healthy thing to say but like a lot, of times, but I say it all the time. I know I say it all the time I'll be like oh well, it's just five dollars and like, literally even me saying it right now, katie's like, uh, like, but that was that was my mindset on it.
Speaker 1:was the uh, paying for the mental stress was not worth the five dollars yeah, like if you had to put a monetary value on it where it was the opposite for you yeah, no for sure, and I think you've taught me that a lot too, like I've let loose a little bit on certain things.
Speaker 2:You, let me throw away stuff that we don't use anymore.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I see the benefits of investing in your current life too, because, also, tomorrow is not promised. We can prepare and prepare and prepare for however long we want to, but today is the day that we're living, and if you want to go to that nice restaurant and you haven't gone out to eat in like you know a couple weeks and you want to treat yourself like it's okay to splurge a little bit, it's okay to have fun. Um, it's just not getting into the habit of it is.
Speaker 2:I'm always like scared that I'm gonna, because I, if I go down a rabbit hole, I'm like, okay, well, if I if you take me shopping yeah then I might as well just buy this, this, this and that, and like I have a hard time setting that boundary if I don't like be firm from the beginning when I think that's where you helped me was like, uh, setting those boundaries in like it's okay to like, you know, like I love wearing Lululemon stuff, you know, which is not necessarily the cheapest stuff in the world. But you have helped me understand the boundaries of like let yourself buy it, but only when you've earned it, you know. Or let yourself buy it only when we've designated like the time is right.
Speaker 1:Or my big thing is like, like, if you can't stop thinking about it yeah like if you're going to the store and you see it and you're like, oh, I want that, but you just had that thought for the first time, like maybe walk away and we're both bad impulse buyers we really both are. We bought a house off impulse twice so to that. We are not good at helping each other with um. But yeah, if you don't stop thinking about it, then maybe it is okay to go back and purchase that item.
Speaker 2:But like, yeah, well, and even to the point about the house, like we have been thinking about it for yeah for a long time like and and it goes back to taking care of balancing that idea of like, taking care of future and present, you know, versions of ourselves. We're like it's definitely a stretch for us to move where we're moving, but we're looking forward to okay, what about the family that we have, you know, hopefully coming down the road right and like, where do we want to be and how can we set ourselves up for that future success want to be and how can we set ourselves up for that future success, which, again, a lot of that involves saving and being prudent with your money, but also it involves being happy currently yeah you know, because you're, you're just not going to be a fun person to be around.
Speaker 2:If you're like I remember watching on tlc they have these shows like extreme cheapskates or whatever, and like this guy one guy and I'm sure they're like playing it up for the cameras a little bit, but like he would go like when they would go out to eat. He would only go out to eat if he had like all sorts of coupons and then he would go and eat people.
Speaker 2:Like he would take food off of people's plates who left before the staff did he would take it home and it made me like I was like oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, people live that way. Like yeah and guess what?
Speaker 1:he didn't seem like a fun person to be around yeah, well, and I've seen, I've seen like really, really wealthy people yes who act very, very stingy and who, you know like, won't allow themselves to go on big trips or, you know, splurge on certain things which, to an extent, I admire, like I admire millionaires who have like a, like a sedan, like a basic sedan you know like they are not feeling the need to splurge and buy like a luxury car, but it was just so funny like hearing them talk about how, like well, we can't afford that, we can't do that, and I'm like I'm sure you could.
Speaker 2:It's just not what you're prioritizing right now and yeah, one of the things my mom always said growing up and I think this is this could be relevant to any of our listeners who are parents, and I I was. You know I hated it at the time because I was like 12 and I was like, well, I don't really care, but uh, as I've gotten older, I really again. It's another piece of wisdom that I really like from her is she said it's a lot harder if you do have money to tell your kids or to tell people no, because it's evident that you know if you clearly don't have the money, you know if you very clearly it's just things are out of reach, then that's that's the easiest and that's the easiest no, you know that's the the easiest reason to give for a no and the most acceptable, whereas if you do skirting that line of like no and it's not, you can't really quite say because I said so because oftentimes you know that's a tough one for kids or really anyone in here.
Speaker 1:But like, explaining the no and the why behind it is really important yeah it's tough and it's and is important, I think yeah, well, and I want to preface this by saying I feel like I was given a very full childhood, like I never, ever felt like we were struggling yeah and we really, we really weren't truly um compared to most families out there, but I do feel like I understood like okay, no means we can't do this we financially can't do this right now, and so I never really felt the need to like follow up on, like, okay, well, I really want this or you know, whatever it might be, and something that I really appreciate that it was never really spoken this way, but it's something that I just realized.
Speaker 1:As a theme in our family it was like, okay, money is tight this month, what are we going to do? And my dad and my mom were always like, well, god's going to provide Something will happen, it'll be okay. Like we've never been left to draw, like left to figure it out on our own.
Speaker 1:And and like that was just the mindset that they had, and I can truly say, like with all honesty, that that is something always worked out, you know like that was we were never left to fend for ourselves and like, if anything was ever tough, like they just had so much faith that things were going to work out, to this day. So that's something I think I really appreciate about the way that I grew up and also seeing how people come together to help help families out.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know it's interesting, you say that I feel like the families, like a lot of the families that I know, especially through we've met through church things that's not an uncommon story. Yeah, like it. I mean, and I'm not saying like go sell everything you have and then just assume that you know a mansion's going to be provided to you. But oftentimes I do see that a lot of families like they do just have things that are provided for them. Or, you know, maybe it's not financially, but you know, um, what's that movie we watched with the band um?
Speaker 2:oh uh, we saw them live for king and country yeah, yeah, it's actually a really good movie yeah, and and I think that actually talked a lot of there's a lot about money and finances in that movie, because it's this, it's the band for king and country and they moved to america and they were, you know, they were really struggling, they were in a lot of poverty in their church family, you know. Like somebody, you know, they really needed a car and all of a sudden somebody had an extra car that they were able to use, you know, and they had a hard time affording. They could basically only afford their house and they couldn't furnish it. Slowly but surely, like stuff started to get furnished and like it's not, you know, it's not exactly, maybe, how you want it to be or exactly what you're expecting. But again to your point, like, I think, if you have that faith and you're plugged into a community, you won't be alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you won't be alone and God really will provide. You know it's not prosperity gospel, because you know we don't believe in that. Know it's not prosperity gospel, because you know we don't believe in that, but it's your needs will be met it's crazy how much you rely on god when you truly have nothing left to give.
Speaker 1:You know, like when you're in that kind of situation, like there are times that we're freaking out and I'm like, how are we going to pay our new mortgage? Yeah, and it's not like god's like here you go here's a billion dollar raise.
Speaker 2:Oh, I found six bitcoin I bought we can like.
Speaker 1:It's just going to be an adjustment yeah but like there, when, like my family or these families that are really struggling, like literally had no money, it was like yeah oh well, I got no choice but to rely on God and, like I know, he will provide.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think you know, you go to the story of the widow with her two pennies and I think that it does still require some sacrifice, or I don't know what the word is, and sacrifice maybe isn't the.
Speaker 1:Penance yeah, almsgiving.
Speaker 2:Penance, almsgiving, I don't know. She's still put in her part. She put in her effort.
Speaker 1:It's not offered up something.
Speaker 2:She offered something up and I think that that's the key part. She offered something up and I think that's why Jesus said like she has given more than all of you today, because she, she truly offered something of herself into that giving. And I think that's when you see the goodness of God provide. Yeah, like you do have to take that first step in acceptance of like hey, I know this is going to be tough, but like it's important. You know, and you know our church has been talking a lot about finances because there's a new building campaign and you know they've been very open about here's what we need. And they've had parishioners even speak about the fact that we know that our church giving is the one thing that we don't want to change. And again they tell a similar story. They've always found that God has provided for them and again it's not the prosperity gospel provided for them, but the needs have been met. And I think that's a really important thing for us to agree on.
Speaker 2:So, I'll ask one last question for you.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. No, I'm not done talking.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead go ahead.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:And we can go more. My question for you would be what is practical advice? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is practical advice that you would give someone either younger than us or our age or even older? Like what do you think is something, especially as we've gotten older, that you think is like really important when it comes to finances? What you actually need and what's excessive because it's so easy to believe that you did that all on your own.
Speaker 1:You know like oh, I worked this amount of hours, and this is what I deserve.
Speaker 2:I earned it.
Speaker 1:I, I earned this all on my own and I don't I mean, I don't think there's any way anybody can do that on their own. So I think, just like viewing, viewing finances as a gift, like as the possibility or the even having that conversation is a gift Like how can I invest, how can I do this, how can I grow in this way, and then also not viewing it as a, you know, like a sense of attachment to yeah, yeah, yeah, 100 and I think that's something that we've kind of had to balance, because as you grow older, new opportunities come.
Speaker 1:We're in our what is it our prime money making years uh, our, yeah, our prime earning years are ahead of us yeah, so like we're just at the beginning, hopefully, hopefully little do we know? That is the goal.
Speaker 2:It's going down from here.
Speaker 1:And so it's really easy to get addicted to like the adrenaline of it all and like chasing that, and there's nothing wrong with that too. I also want to say, if that it's motivating to you, like there's no shame in wanting to make more money. It's just like, what are you doing with that money?
Speaker 2:Where's your treasure?
Speaker 1:Yeah, where's your true treasure? Are you using that to glorify god and what does that look like for you? Um, and I think that's something that we have to take a step back every now and then and be like okay, like what is actually stressing us out here? Like what do we actually need? I?
Speaker 2:always like to qualify the story of the rich young man by saying the problem is not that he's rich, it's that he cared too much about the money. But ultimately, money is the thing that he cared about.
Speaker 1:You know like.
Speaker 2:I oftentimes am hesitant to make people feel bad about it, but also, you know, to your point, it is a it's. You know, just like any other vice, greed is something that can weasel its way in there, you know, and ultimately it's. It is certainly one of the levers that Satan tries to pull is our attachment to money and things. And again to your point, it's not like it's a bad thing to desire more money and to desire a better life for yourself. But again, what's the oomph behind?
Speaker 1:it, yeah, and I'd also say, like there are so many different ways to be rich in life, 110%, and that is what I think we need to focus on like there are so many different ways to be rich in life.
Speaker 2:A hundred and ten percent.
Speaker 1:And that is what I think we need to focus on. Where do you want to be rich in life? If you just want to be rich in money, that's all you're going to get.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:If you want to be rich in family, then like and sacrifice maybe a little bit of money. That's a beautiful life. If you want to be rich in, like growing a nonprofit or an organization and probably drain your bank account to do that first and then see it grow from there like they might have the happiest life.
Speaker 1:The hat is a beautifully rich life and I think it's. There's just a lot of like guilt sacrificing one for the other. But I something I don't think we talked about is you're going to go through seasons. So there's going to be seasons, like where you know money comes easy, you're not stressed about the bills, and then something's going to happen and you might be living paycheck to paycheck and like that is a very normal part of life. That is not a sign that you're failing.
Speaker 1:That's not very normal, that's not, not anything bigger than it is. It's just the season of life and like. That's something we have to prepare ourselves for too. Like, as you know, as our family hopefully continues to grow. You know it's going to get harder, because now not only are we going to accommodate just us, but hopefully a family. And two dogs, or maybe five.
Speaker 1:No, no, just two, just two and um, and so I think also like buying this house, although it's going to be a little bit tighter than we're used to, it's kind of gonna light a fire under our bums, like okay, where, where does it actually matter? Where does it actually matter to be spending our money? You know like where can? We cut it down a little bit or, you know, make those sacrifices yeah, oliver agrees yeah, I know, I'm sorry, the dogs wanted to be active participants today yeah um, I have a question for you, or actually, why don't you answer what you're thinking, what you think?
Speaker 2:um, that was a beautiful answer that you just had.
Speaker 2:Mine is no, go simpler, uh invest as much as possible in your 401k as early as possible. The best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second best time is today. Um, and get a financial planner unless you are extremely financially literate, um, I think it's easy to, you know, kind of push off and be like, oh no, like we can manage it. It's been so nice to have somebody walk us through the expectations, how we're doing and like there's a bunch of them we use. It's a Christian financial planning firm and they're great and, yes, it's a friend and they have an incredible, an incredible company. But they, you know he's really helped us and I would recommend him to anyone Blackbridge Financial.
Speaker 1:That's what it's called, blackbridge Financial. It's not what you think, though. Like I've mentioned, we have a financial planner to a friend and she was like, well, I don't want somebody to just tell me I'm spending too much, and he actually does not look at like our day-to-day spending it's no it's what does your future look like with the amount that you're making this year?
Speaker 1:and like here's how, like it's just it's a very affirming process, just like once a year meeting with him and he's like this is where you're at if you retire at this age, this is what you'll have, and and it's just like, oh okay, we're gonna be fine even though it feels like we are spending paycheck to paycheck, like we're actually gonna be okay and he's also there to tell us.
Speaker 2:Like we can ask him, are we spending too much?
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, he's there to be a resource.
Speaker 2:But that and again I think you know that might be just one of his talents, but also I think that that's probably not uncommon. And again, I think that's where it becomes money, becomes a pride thing. Like you know, I don't want somebody to tell me, you know, that I'm spending too much money, just the same way that somebody, when you go to the doctor, you don't want the doctor to tell you eat less Chick-fil-A. But guess what?
Speaker 1:Never.
Speaker 2:You got to eat less Chick-fil-A. Sometimes you know you got to eat less chick-fil-a.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you know you got to drink less or you got.
Speaker 2:You know these are the truths that if you, if that's what you really want is to be successful and to have a good financial plan, man, you and I, the dogs are loud, we're gassy and drinking water I am not gassy.
Speaker 1:This podcast is not about me and my tummy problem, that's right.
Speaker 2:It's about my tummy problems, um, but like that's, if you want to be healthy, if you want to have financial success, like you have to put in the the time and the work and you have to you know, kind of handle the hard truth. So yeah, yeah, absolutely what was your question for me?
Speaker 1:um, I, we were talking about this at dinner last friday and it was just like the difference between men and women in the way that we view money.
Speaker 2:Like how, what?
Speaker 1:are your thoughts on that? Like, how do you think that, not because of the way we were raised, but just because of our like biological beings, like how we look at money differently?
Speaker 2:were you talking about this with uh Shelby?
Speaker 1:and Zach. Yeah, actually.
Speaker 2:I think you were in the bathroom, so you might not have been there um, you know I I don't know if I could separate it from who we are as people well, I think, here let me give you a hint, yeah, because I see this in you okay, and I see this and how like I didn't, honestly didn't really click until zach said this.
Speaker 1:So it's shout out, zag shout out but he was like basically said, am not really. Yes, I'd love to work a job that like I love, but ultimately my priority is to find a job that will help support and provide for my family and I'm going to keep looking for that, for the best possible career that will do that for my family.
Speaker 2:Um, I for me, personally, I agree with that a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I, I mean, I've actually talked about that with Zach now, so that makes sense yeah. Um, yeah, like, there is no um. Like if something were to happen and you know, the glue industry, God forbid, were to just absolutely crash and I had to go and and work somewhere that I didn't like and that paid less but that was the best thing for our family, then absolutely, you know like that's, and I guess I see it's the there's still as far as like the man for me, I do feel like I have that provider yes, well and.
Speaker 1:I just thought that was interesting, because when he said that I was like that makes sense, like I see that in you, like I never understood why you were always like so active on LinkedIn. What are you like? I thought you liked your job, Like when you were at Milwaukee. I was like why are we even looking like you're so happy here? And I just never understood that. But when he said that I was like that makes a lot more sense, Like it's just ingrained in who you are, Whereas me and now this is not true, I don't think for every woman, this is just me but I'm like where can I find the happiest job?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well and I think that for some couples the roles are reversed right.
Speaker 1:Yes, like there's always, like I don't know one person that feels more driven by that providing characteristics, but I'm just like I want to find a job where I like the people I work with, I like what I do and I don't really care how much I get paid which I know that's very abnormal Like I just want to like my job Well.
Speaker 2:I think that goes and now we're bridging away from finances, so I'll try and make this quick but I think that goes into the idea that, like, when you have your family, your job is going to be like of course, I'm going to love our future children. You will probably love our future children in a way that I cannot, but my job is to love you enough so that you can then love our children that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that it's a kind of a similar thing where that's just, that's just my role you know, and and ultimately I'm much happier knowing that I can provide than doing something that is quote unquote more fulfilling. Yeah, yeah, you know, because like what I like about the sales jobs I've had is I like building relationships and there's lots of jobs you can do that in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:I like talking to people right Like. The thing I loved most about working at Publix for so long was I liked just talking to the customers.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and I basically just do that now- yeah, for sure All right you want to do our marriage meeting.
Speaker 1:No, I have so many things I want to say.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead no no, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead. No, no, I'm just kidding. Well, not really, but it's fine You're cutting me off.
Speaker 2:No, go ahead. Katie hates it because I'm always like no.
Speaker 1:I know you don't want to listen to us yap for this long so Yap, yap, yap, yap Maybe part two We'll see.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, katie has way more. She wants to say yeah, I'm just having fun, y my like, I'm at my second wind. Oh yeah, yeah, I can hear your second breathing stop. So all right. So marriage meaning this is going to be an easy one, but I thought this would be fun. Since we talked about finances, we track our, we track our spending through rocket money.
Speaker 1:I just want to know before you say your marriage meaning okay, I want to know if I'm the only one that thinks this way. But the funniest thing that joe and I recognized when we got married was how we put gas in the car differently and how I have always done this my whole life, like I've only ever put just enough gas to get to where I need to go, and maybe a little extra cause you know you don't want to lose, have a zero in your tank, but I've never paid for a full tank of gas up until getting married to you and joe thought that was absolutely I had never not paid for a full tank of gas that's just, and I just think that perfectly describes our different views of money.
Speaker 1:Like yeah and I, I just find it so funny, so I want to know if there's anybody out there who is in the same boat. Like whose side?
Speaker 2:are you on?
Speaker 1:Do you fill the whole tank up or do you just put enough?
Speaker 2:Yeah, just enough, just a little tad, so please appease me and answer this question.
Speaker 1:Okay, resume.
Speaker 2:Marriage meeting. So we track our finances with Rocket Money and I thought it would be funny.
Speaker 1:This is not sponsored, not sponsored. That would be funny. This is not sponsored, not sponsored.
Speaker 2:That'd be nice, though I want you to guess our three top places. We spend money, that's outside of like our mortgage, so Publix is number two.
Speaker 1:Number two.
Speaker 2:Publix is number two.
Speaker 1:Is it like an actual place, Like?
Speaker 2:or is it like food and dining? So this is just the company. I'll say companies that we spend the three companies. We spend the three companies we spend the most money at publix.
Speaker 1:So publix is two costco costco's three three what's number one?
Speaker 2:it's gonna, you're gonna know it immediately when you realize it amazon amazon by a mile is number one.
Speaker 1:Amazon takes all of our money. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so yeah, it was Amazon, it was Publix, it was Costco.
Speaker 1:Costco was last Wow and then I'm trying to think.
Speaker 2:I don't think there was anywhere. There's a lot of frequent gas station purchases because I'm a big fountain soda guy, but the dollar amount was not super high okay, cool, that's how you redeem yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh no, guys, we're in for a whirlwind because we are moving into a neighborhood with a public's literally inside. We can walk to it we are going to lose all of our monies.
Speaker 2:Bye money money, money, money, all right.
Speaker 1:Where is my money?
Speaker 2:it's at publix and costco.
Speaker 1:Everyone thanks for listening yes, thank you for listening to this long-winded, very yappy dog podcast about money everyone's yapping have a great rest of your week and let's keep growing together.
Speaker 2:bye y'all, thank you.